Tuesday - last training day for the foreseeable future

Massive sadface.

Today was the last training session with Jason. And of course I got stuck on a train on the way to the gym, so I was about six minutes late to get started

But we made the most of it. I had to choose what we did today and I haven't even had a chance to think about it! So I come up with 'uhh I dunno, something acrobatic?' I guess I figured if I'm going to get into aerial silks, I might as well start focusing on mobility

So acrobatics we did. Mostly handstands, which are super fun, but super hard, and super wrist heavy.

After a quick walking warmup and a few swings and snatches with the kettlebell, we went over to a wall and I did a few rounds of handstands with my back to the wall, then handstands facing the wall

Then handstands with no wall. I haven't done handstands in forever, and certainly not without assistance. But even with Jason there to gently tip me back to center, I had a few split seconds where I was actually kind of balancing over my hands! Huzzah!

But oy the wrists, they take a beating.

Then we did a few conditioning exercises where I did a handstand facing the wall, but this time with my feet on the wall and my hips bent, so basically making a square with my body. From there I rock slightly forward so my weight is on my hands, the push back like downward dog, so my head is pressing towards the wall, and really stretching out my shoulders and upper back.

Then we did an abs leg lift, but with a BOSU. So I'm sitting on the BOSU, with my hands on the floor behind me, then lift my legs straight up as far as possible.

After a few rounds of that, we finished the session with clean and jerks. With the heavy bell. Then glorious stretching. And lots of sad hugs.

I'm sure I'll be back to train someday. Maybe next year. Or when I'm rich

Wednesday - legs day

I meant to publish this last week. 7/29/15. Oh well. It's Wednesday, second to last training sesh for the foreseeable future. Sadface.

So we made the most of it and went straight into legs day.  All of the squat racks were taken so we did a leg press machine instead. The one where I'm sitting reclined backwards with my legs sticking up and lowering the weights towards me. Like upside down squats. I don't know how much weight there was, but it was heavy, and I would guess it was around 120 or 130.

Then we headed over to the TRX.  First a set of reverse lunge to pistol squats, with my poor leg swinging front and back like a pendulum.  Between those I did clean and squats with the 30lb Kettlebell.

Next was a crazy TRX move where I start like an inverse row, but instead of just pulling my body straight up, I had to bend at the hips, while bending my arms and pulling them out to the side (like field goal arms).  All in one motion, and exactly as hard as it sounds.  I kept forgetting to bend my waist enough, and then forget to straighten back out enough. And my forearms were so not into this whole concept.

And we followed those with hanging knee tucks, because my poor hands were not already torn up enough, I just had to hang from a pole and depend on them to hold me up while tucking my legs to my chest. Also, Jason had to hike me up when I jumped so I could reach the pole.  And my forearms were absolutely not into this concept.

But I survived, and we moseyed up front for some v-ups and backbridge push-ups.  And I don't know if I'm just getting more bendy, or if my mind has become more accepting of my general always-a chey-soreness, but I felt really good doing the backbridge today. I really extended and pushed forward more than usual, even Jason was impressed. All in all, a great way to end my second to last training sesh...for now

Belated entry: weekend training

Wow this is super late. After a bajillion weeks on the road, and a few rescheduled sessions, I finally made it back to the gym to train with Jason!

We did a rare and elusive weekend session, which means free range of the gym. But we stuck to basics this time, and mostly arms

Regular walking warmup, and a few passes with the lobster band to warm up

It's been a few days so I already forget exactly what we did but I know there were two shiny new kettlebells, and I played with both of them

So we did swings, clean and presses, heavier clean and presses, and snatches

And on the floor I had vups and backbridge extensions, and twists with a medicine ball.

I only have two more sessions before my money runs out. :(  i'll be looking for cheaper ways to get back in shape, and I have a few things lined up that might be fun AND bring back my flexibility. I'll keep you posted

Invisalign - first fitting

Finally after months and months ( and even more months) of anticipation, the day finally arrived to get my first set of Invisalign.

During all those months of waiting, I did quite a bit of googling to make sure I was fully prepared for what I'm getting myself into.  For the most part the blogs and forums were pretty spot on about the overall experience so there wasn't too much that came as a surprise by the time I popped in the first tray

The first fitting appointment took about an hour since there is quite a lot to do.  They have you try on the first trays and practice taking them out a few times to get the hang of it.

Then, if you're an unlucky soul (like me), they will have to install little buttons on some of your teeth to help the retainers grip and do their job.  I ended up with 7 buttons total.  To get them to stick to your teeth they scrub off the teeth in question then, using a template tray, inject some clear goo into preset crevices and snap the tray in your mouth to make sure they are in the right place. They set the goo with a UV device, that hardens it into clear buttons that makes them look like tiny extensions of your teeth.

Most people said that the buttons can be sharp and irritate your gums. I don't really notice them at all.  The most concerning part of that process is when they had to snap the template tray out, and then use that dentist pick tool to scrape off the excess button adhesive (that has now been cured into a rock hard tooth colored enamel). Yikes

After the buttons are finally on and cleaned out, they had me try on the real trays again to make sure I could still get them on and off.  After the buttons go on, it was really scary getting the trays off because it really seemed like I was going to snap the tray in half while prying it off my teeth.  The tray that will cost almost $200 to replace if it breaks.

But eventually I got the hang of it, trays in-tact. And all was well with the world.  After that I was pretty much all done, I just had to wait a while for the orthodontist to stop by and check that everything looked good (oh yeah, all that fitting and button installation was done with a tech, not the actual Ortho...)

The Dr. gave his stamp of approval, I scheduled the follow-up appointment for 8 weeks later, and they sent me off with an Invisalign goodie bag that included:

-Two retainer cases (one that I carry around with me, and one that lives at home)

-six sets of trays that I'll change every 2 weeks

-a pamphlet of instructions in about ten different languages (in case I forget how to take out my teeth, or if I want to brush up on my French, Spanish, Italian, German, Japanese, Mandarin, and a bunch of other languages)

- a set of 'chewies' that are little plastic tubes that I chew on to make sure the trays stay nice and snug

We'll see how this goes!

Fixin' my teeth

So, to branch off from the drudgeries of weekly workouts, I'm going to talk about a different aspect of my quest for overall health and positive body image - my teeth

I had terrible teeth growing up, chock full of cavities and these massive buck teeth jutting out of my upper jaw. It mostly stemmed from that time in grade school when the kid down the street kicked out my two front teeth (this is 100% true)

Fortunately they were my baby teeth. Unfortunately they weren't even remotely loose.  So my big adult front teeth had full range of my jaw to grow in since there wasn't anything restricting them from pushing all my other weakling baby teeth out of the way

And thus began my lifelong orthodontic journey. I had braces for a few years in high school and despite the pain and agony, they came out pretty nice. But somehow in the blip of other life events, I never got a retainer and in the 10+ years since then, my teeth have almost completely reverted back to their buck tooth glory days. One tooth in particular seems to be going out of its way to tuck itself behind its neighbor and I've lost track of how many procedures I've gotten to fix the inevitable cavities that gravitate in that area

Anytime I've complained about my teeth, most people's reactions are to politely say 'oh your teeth look fine'. But they don't see my dental bills. And I know what angles hide my freak tooth from public view.

So, after years of wishing and hoping, I finally was able to afford orthodontic work (thanks to actually decent dental insurance). And like most vain adults, I decided on Invisalign. So back in November - about 7 months ago - my dentist referred me to his orthodontist buddy. What I wish I had known back then was how frustrating this whole process would be. And I haven't even gotten the first tray yet (did I mention it's been SEVEN months)

Every stage of this process has been one surprise after another, with hefty price tags to go along with it. "Oh no, that cheaper price we gave you is for some other thing that you're not doing, you're getting this thing which is more expensive" ....so why did you tell me that price in the first place?!??? I feel like I'm taking crazy pills!!!!...

So I finally do the scan, get a call that it's ready, show up and find out they haven't even started MAKING the trays yet!! So why am I here!??!! Oh, because you want to charge more money but won't tell me exactly how much the total cost is gonna me. Great, because I can totally afford to 'wing it' for a few extra thousand dollars. Yeah, no.

It could just be that this particular office is just not very good at explaining the process and doesn't know how to set expectations. Although I would imagine I'm not the only person in the world who doesn't spent every hour of the day becoming an expert on dental procedures. I just want to show up, know what's going to happen, get my teeth fixed, and know exactly how much it's going to cost me. Is that too much to ask?

Eventually they are going to give me the damn trays so I can get this started already, and then I'll be able to give feedback on the actual invisaligns. And by eventually I mean they better have them ready next week because I'm traveling for almost three weeks and was expecting to have already started the first set by now.

But at this rate, I have no idea what to expect. I do expect I'm going to have to 'pull some teeth' to find out.

Pun obviously intended

Tuesday training - birthday edition

It's Tuesday! My birthday was yesterday! Another year, another butt-kicking courtesy of Jason

I have a lot of post- and pre- emptive strikes going here. Work cake, future cake, more future cake, future drinks, work drinks.

Yeah we got champagne at work for my birthday. Cause we fancy like that

Not so fancy at the gym. Just straight work.  Walking warmup, then a series of increasingly insane kettlebell exercises today:

-Swings with the 25lb bell.

-Snatch and reverse lunge with the 35lb bell

-Mountain climbers

-Goblet squats with the 55lb bell (exclamation point)

-Push press with the 25lb bell

-jerks with the 35lb bell

-Single leg deadlift and row with 17.5lb dumbbells

-bicycle crunches

-v ups

-backbridge hold

-DEAD

Tuesday training - legs arms legs arms

It's Tuesday, and I almost had to reschedule but fortunately didn't have to. I schlepped through one of those crazy New York City downpours and took a soaked subway ride uptown to the gym

I was a wee bit late, but Jason wasted no time in handing me a jumprope to warm up. Longest three minutes ever.  Then a round of walking lunges, but with 17.5lb curl and pressed added in. And a few passes with the lobster-band of shame strapped around my legs to really get those deep dark glutes burning

Then another round of jumprope while Jason gathered two 45lb kettlebells. Yes, TWO Forty-five pound weights.  For burpees.  Well, burpee deadlifts. With a combined 90lbs.  So, man makers, but with kettlebells and with more weight and with deadlifts. 10 reps, 3 times

Then to cool off, some one arm swings and twist overhead presses with the Dumbbells.

Then those squats where you roll back and swing your body back to standing. I forget what they're called, and I tried to do them with the 25lb kettlebell to much hilarity. It was much easier without any weights. And a few times I rolled back way too far and almost flipped over my head 

But I survived, and it was finally time to stretch. And now I can go home and try not to stress eat too much

Tuesday training - kettlebelllls

It's Tuesday!  It's training day! I've been doing really good lately, much more strict on my diet, better at actually working out on my own, I even hiked up a ridge this weekend. And wasn't even sore the next day!

So I was ready to train today

We started with the usual walking warmup. The floor was particularly dirty today. Gross

Then with 25lb bells, one arm swings to warm up, then two bell swings, and we stuck with the 2 bells for the rest of the sesh.

So, two bell jerks, then two bell cleans. Then (you guessed it) two bell clean and jerks (aka long cycle, aka loooooong cycle) all with sets of 12.

After a good bit of grunting, I made it through the last rep. But we were just starting the fun.

Jason quietly pulled over the 32lb bell, for swing to snatch. TEN of them. No stopping.

I braced myself and starting swingy snatching. I learned I can make it through five before my grip completely gives up and I end up really catching the squishy padding on my palm and every swing feels like it's about to rip off. Fortunately nothing tore, but I do have a pretty gross tiny bloody blister forming under my left ring finger.  The right side is fine, of course

But that was it for today, a pretty straightforward workout. Although Jason nearly keeled over when I announced that I actually made the changes to my diet that he told me to. So far so good :)

New month, still training

It's Tuesday, it's June, you know what that means! 

Measurements. Grumpy face.

I already know it's not going to be phenomenal, I don't think I even stepped on the scale once this month. And I've been eating like crap. And not sleeping, and just all around being an average lazy American

So all things considered, the fact that I lost a pound is nothing short of miraculous. My belly is totally bloated, but my limbs have gotten a sliver smaller, so at least I'm not getting bigger

Of course by the time we got through revamping my diet plan and creating a crazy workout plan for the month, we only had half an hour left to workout. And Jason used every second of it to kick my sorry butt.

After walking warmup across the floor We started with burpees, and 25 swings (per arm, with the 35lb bell), and that was just the warmup.  

Then I had a few sets of clean and jerks with the 35lb bell, and jerks with the 25lb bell. And by the last rep my arms were very done. So much done.

But we were not done. Jason had me grab a mat, but then also grabbed a second mat to put right next to it. So we were clearly not about to stretch yet. No no, I had to do a crazy ab exercise by holding my shoulders and legs off the floor, then rolling over on my belly (onto awaiting second mat), straight into superman without putting the feet down, then rolling back over, in theory without putting my feet down. In reality, this did not actually happen, but the idea was there

But it did not end there. Next I had to do the same concept, but rock back and forth, and rolling over, and rocking on my belly. In reality that meant immediately erupting into giggles as soon as I started.   Eventually I got the hang of it.  Then finally it was time to stretch!

The gym had a group of people handing out water bottles and giving free massages. And they caught me on my way out and totally sucked me in. So now I'm waiting for a free massage, and it turns out they are a chiropractic group and now I get to scratch my itching curiosity of the chiropractic world with a free consultation later this week. Huzzah

Tuesday training - PT Style

It's Tuesday, I survived a luxuriously lazy holiday weekend with relatively few incidents. I didn't make it out to the park like I wanted to, because for the first time in my (city) life, I was hit by a stupid bicyclist and it actually did quite a bit more damage to my left side than I initially realized

So my body spent most of the weekend sleeping and recovering. Today I still have a massive bruise right above my left hip where the handlebar impacted. So Jason took pity on me and we did a PT session to loosen up my hip and avoid hitting the bruise. And I learned very quickly that it's  right at the spot where I usually rest my hands between sets. Ow.

So, we started with leg lifts and hip raises. So far so good. Then with a 12lb medicine ball, squats (no problem), and reverse lunge twists (slight problem). After a few sets my side loosened up and it was much much better after that

So we moved on to weights and bells.  First squat overhead presses with 17.5lb Dumbbells, then cleans with the 30lb kettlebell. I was very worried about the left side, but once in the rack, my elbow is just far up and centered to avoid hitting the side directly so it actually wasn't so bad. And my form is improving (gasp!) so I got through the sets with no problem

Then renegade rows with the Dumbbells, and snatches with the 25lb bell. Also no problem there

Then we actually did and today. That was a big surprise, but I definitely need it. I was all for VUps until he rolled over a medicine ball. For me to lift overhead while reaching for my toes. Oh. The. Abs.  Gasping for breath after the first set, it was straight into twists. For so many sets.  By the end I was barely sitting up straight. Fortunately time was up. So a nice easy stretch, with just one touchy spot that put a wee bit too much pressure on my bad side, but overall I survived, and can go home and nurse myself back to full strength. Woohoo

Tuesday training - pick things up

Today was totally pick things up and put them down day. All because guys were hogging the squat racks. One guys was literally inside  the rack hopping up and down (not with weights, mind you, just in there hopping) Wtf

So we had to improvise today and Jason wheeled out his set of drop weights, or whatever they are called. Big ass weights designed to be dropped. Although I don't do that, because I'm a dainty lady.

Anyways, I started with deadlifts, just the bar first to warm up. And then the craziest thing happened. Jason actually tried to make me rack the weights by myself. Ok, I've been training with him for years at this point, and he has always just done this part for me. And makes it look easy!  No such luck today, he was making me do all the work this time. So I awkwardly maneuver the weight onto the bar, and feebly try to slide it down while it keeps getting stuck along the way. Meanwhile he's on the other side sliding three plates around like they're full of air.

Somehow I manage to get the weights racked through a series of deadlifts, and ultimately ended with a set of 5 and 145lbs! Not too shabby

Then it was time for front squats. Jason has long give up on trying to get me to clean the bar properly, with a deadlift to a little thigh bump to propel it upwards. Physically impossible. Instead I do it my way, cleaning straight up from the ground. And it works, so we go with it. So a few squats there, then we finish with the heavy weights.

Then a seemingly light set with the 15lb Dumbbells. Walking lunge and overhead press across the floor. Deep squat with alternating press (and then both arms press - SO hard!!) and finished with single leg deadlifts. My tushy is going to be sore tomorrow

Extra awesome stretch with a weird little rolly contraption that dug into my poor little legs. Nothing like a deep tissue massage to end your day!

Tuesday training - colorbell day

It's Tuesday. I'm exhausted. But no matter how tired I am, I always get skippy excited when I turn the corner and Jason is there waiting for me. An hour later, I'm usually cursing his existence.

Today was a pretty moderate workout. Not too hard, not too easy. A super quick three point lunge warmup, then Jason revealed the colorful plethora of kettlebells waiting for me to lift them. I started with the blue bell, I think it's like 25lbs. Just swings to warmup. Then a set of swing with the yellow bell, 16kg (like 34 lbs)

Then we focused on technique. With the blue bell I practiced cleans for a while and really focused on rotating my torso to control the drop and float the clean. After a few sets I was starting to get the hang of it

Then we got into the meat of the session. Timed jerk sets. I started with two minutes per arm with the blue bells, aiming for a pace of 10 reps per minute. And a few minutes rest in between.  I manage to get a rhythm going and was able to nail the pacing by the last set.

Then a few rounds with the yellow bell, but 1 minute per arm and 8 reps a minute. That was way harder. Not only is the bell heavier, but it's harder to slow down once you get going. But I worked it out and got on pace eventually

Then another rest, and we finished on 20  snatches (per arm) with the pink bell. That's 8kg (like 16lbs)... I couldn't stop giggling during the first few snatches because the bell is ridiculously light. Like, stupid light. So comically light. But eventually, with enough reps, that bell starts to get heavier. I didn't full on get pumped, but my forearms were quickly heading in that direction. But fortunately, we were out of time, and I cooled off with a nice stretch sesh 

Thursday training - Ninja status

Training on Thursday this week. Fortunately it was a rare slow day at work, so I didn't have to sprint uptown like usual to get to the gym on time.

It's been a while since we've done measurements, but I've been REALLY good since Disney and have not been mindlessly eating. I've planned out almost all of my meals, no late night snacking, as much water as possible, and I've even remembered to take my supplements on a daily basis!

So I was ready to weigh in. I know I didn't hit 135lbs like I was supposed to, but right now I'll be happy as long as I'm anything under 140.

Sure enough, step on the scale, Jason wobbles the weights back and forth and the level settles on 137. I'll take it!

Then I wait patiently while he measures various body parts, and pinches various other parts, and writes down his notes, and calculates his calculations, and I get the verdict: I've gotten a wee bit smaller everywhere, and my body fat is down to 23%ish. Yeah!! I'll take that too! As much as it sucks, watching my diet is the only way I'm going to get to my goals. Blergh, at least it's working

After the housekeeping was finished, it was time to work out. First a spin with the most evil roller that has ever been invented. It's like the foam roller's evil cousin. I know he has some serious workout planned. 

Once my legs were nice and agonizingly rolled out, we headed to the free weight room to a shockingly empty squat rack! We nearly sprinted over to grab it while it was free and I started a warmup with the empty bar while Jason gathered weight that were strewn about the room. Today we squatted my way up to 175lbs.  Huzzah!

Then we went up front for some fun stuff. First a few rounds of swings and goblet squats with the heeeeavy bell. The red one, I think it's like 60lbs. Maybe more

Then with two 17.5lb Dumbbells, curl to push press and renegade rows (yay!). Curls are really hard, I was definitely using my hips and shoulders to shrug the weights up by the last round. Weak

Then a few box jumps on the tall box to wrap things up, and I demonstrated my insane ninja status by landing silently on top of box, just about every time. Jason was so proud :)

Then a more painful than usual stretch sesh. And now I am free to hobble home.  More cardio tomorrow, but for now I get to sleeeeeep

Tuesday training - snatch-O-rama

It's Tuesday. It's training day! It's insanely busy at work and I have to run out at the very last possible minute to sprint to the train and take the long way to the subway because they are doing so much construction and there is only one entrance for the entire city of Manhattan to enter and exit and the subway cars are still blasting heat so we're all melting and turning into crotchety old New Yorkers.

Where was I? Oh yes, training day. I managed to make it on time despite the odds, and I forgot I had packed my islanders shirt today of all days. We may have lost, but I think we did a damn good job this season

Aaaanyways, we punched in and Jason promptly handed me the jumprope. Before he could tell me how long to go,I said to just stop me when time's up. And off I jumped, blissfully ignorant of my surroundings. And sure enough eventually he told me to stop and it was the best jump roping stretch I've ever done. It was only three minutes, but I made it the whole time without tripping!

Then onto dynamic walking warmup, and then full on into kettlebells. I had the big fancy bells today. The ones that look huge but are really only 12kg.  We started with a not-so-simple warmup set (grace period is officially over): swings to cleans to press to squats. 10 per arm, no stopping. Three times. With a minute jumprope between sets

Then, we pulled out the Bulgarian bag for spins, and back to the bell for clean and jerks 

Then for our last part of the session we did a 'snatch-o-rama' which was as insane as it sounds. Basically nonstop snatches in varying forms. First power snatch with the bag, then with the bell snatch WITH reverse lunge (ugh!), and ending with a new thing, with one bell you hold the handle pointing straight out with both hands - like you're golfing - then swing it up as you simultaneously squat. For once this was something that looked insane but was actually really easy to catch on.

I'm sure there must have been more stuff in there but my brain is really mushy after a day like today. All I know is that I ended on clean and jerks with TWO bells, and Jason slipped out a secret tip to help fit these massive bells between my stubby little legs during the down swing: as you drop the bells out of the rack, step your  foot wider and the bells fall right through, then on the clean, step back and you're ready to jerk. MAJOR GAME CHANGER people. Huge. It didn't make the jerks any less pathetic and agonizing by the last rep, but at least I can swing the stupid bells now.

Progress!  And overall I'm starting to feel so much better. Less blobby, starting to get leaner. It's all diet (which still could use some improvement), and I'm starting to feel my strength coming back to boot.

We had time for stretching (huzzah), and now I'm off to shower and sleeeeep

Wednesday training - Disney recovery

Last week was awesome. Disney was exhausting. Today was pretty great. Training almost killed me. 

It's amazing how quickly one hour goes by, yet how it seems agonizingly endless at the same time.

Today was full-on fat blasting post vacation recovery mode. It was just barely indistinguishable from what I imagine basic cross fit must be like. I did a total body workout with tons of cardio slipped in there to boot, and sweat my little butt off

We started with jumprope. For five minutes. Ughhhhh. I only tripped twice, but my legs were already ready to quit. And we were just getting started.

Then the regular walking warmup across the floor, followed by swings with the 25 and 35lb bells.

After that, the rest of the workout is kid of a blur. I did some cleans, oh and clean to reverse lunges. Then jerks, forearm plank push-ups (start in forearm plank, push up to full plank then back down to forearm plank, one arm at a time) - really sweaty by now

There were goblet squats in there somewhere too. I ended with snatches, 15 per arm with the 25lb bell. And finished with 10 per arm with the 35pb bell. Killer.

And finally stretching. Glorious

Thursday training - pre-Disney workout

Bonus training day today to get ready for my week away in Disney world! So excited! Just one more day at the office until I'm freeeeeeeee!

And of course it's going to be an insane week so I figured I need my extra workout beforehand (although I'm sure I will need it even more after I get back)

But I'm glad we trained today, it was a super fun session and I got to do a lot of cool things I've never done before

I got there right on time but Jason was actually running late so I had to kill about 20 minutes jogging on the treadmill to warmup. Nothing crazy, I didn't want to exhaust myself before we even got started. There was a show on about Lundqvist doing stuff and it had subtitles so that kept my mind of the running part.

Finally Jason was ready so he beckoned me away from the treadmill and had me roll out my back for a bit since it's still really tight from earlier this week

Then we got started with the real stuff. Free weight room today, we had to wait for the squat rack to open up, so I had to do leg presses on this contraption where you are sitting almost upside down, and then push the weights above you. The problem was, when I got into the contraption, my feet couldn't even reach the platform! Hilarity ensued. By the time he adjusted everything, the squats were open, so I only had to do one set and a quick set of body weight squats. Then onto the real squats

We worked our way up to a set of 5 reps with 155lbs by the end. Huzzah! Making my way back to 225!

Then enough with the big weights, we went over to the TRX for some new stuff. I did a series of reverse lunge to pistol squats, one set standing up between each, on set staying low and bringing the leg straight through to the front, and the last set staying low but with a straight leg and rotating it around to the front. And totally looking badass while doing so. Totally 

Then we went up front and played around with a medicine ball, where I had to throw it up high to where the wall meets the ceiling and try to catch it on its way down. The first few throws are not so bad, but that exercise gets exponentially harder, very quickly

Then with 15lb Dumbbells I did walking lunge with press. That one also is fine at first but by the last lunge my shoulders are screaming to be ripped out of my sockets if only to get some relief.

Then I did a super fun thing. Long jumps across the floor. There are these two black lines that frame the training area floor, I don't even know how wide, but it took about 4 and a half jumps to get to each side. So I was trying to clear the lines in 4 jumps and kept coming a tiny half hop short. Then finally on my second to last pass, I hurled myself across the floor and cleared the lines on my 4th jump!! It was awesome! I felt like I just won the Olympics, hahaha! Of course the very last jump I just barely fell short, my toes cleared the line but not the triumphant pass like the previous one

By that point my body had had enough. Fortunately the only thing I had left to do was V-ups and reverse plank. Then glorious stretching, and now to go home to start packing for my VAYCAY!!! Booyah

Tuesday training - of Bells and Bags

It's Tuesday. And since its been a slow week I hustled my little booty out of the office a little early today and beat the train rush uptown

I think we were supposed to measure today but we jumped right into the workout. Which is fine with me since I was feeling pretty blahhh today

Walking warmup to start and then a quick ladder of kettlebell swings decreasing reps while increasing weights.

Lots of Kettlebell and bulgarian bag work today. I was pretty tired and we did a few fairly similar things so I might not remember the order exactly

First I had two 25lb bells for clean and jerks. Then spins with the bag

Then snatch with one bell, and twist lunge and rack with the bag (this was new, you turn side to side while swinging the bag around and flip it over your forearms while going down into a lunge....yeah)

Then with the 30lb bell, push press (yipes) and overhead squat with the bag.

At this point I am a sweating puddle of exhaustion.

Then glorious stretching. Glorious

Tuesday training - uncoordinated bells

It's Tuesday and we bumped training back 1/2 an hour. Which was good because of course a last minute emergency erupted at work that I gahad to deal with before sprinting to the gym

But I made it and we started the session building my calendar for the month, blocking out one glorious week that I'm going to DISNEY!! Two weeks away! So excited!!

But before then, I have a lot of work to do

After walking warmup, Jason brought over his fancy kettlebells and I did some swings and cleans with those. But then I had to try cleans with both bells together, and it was like I had never touched a kettlebell before.  The professional bells are so freaking big, that trying to swing both of them between my legs meant either smashing my fingers or cracking them into each other. So I opted for the latter (they did get my pinky in one pass though, still a little tender after that)

So we switched back to normal size bells and Jason coached me through breathing properly to get through cleans and then clean and jerks.

Then snatches with my buddy the 25lb bell. But snatched with squats. Killer. Then regular snatched to finish up with the bells.

We were supposed to switch to 15lb Dumbbells, but could only find one. So I was sent to hunt down the other one but some dude was using it for some pretty pointless looking side bends. Whatever

So we made it easier with the 12.5lb Dumbbells for overhead reverse lunge.

Then I had to finish with 25lb Dumbbells for squat jumps. But not full squat jumps, dainty little quick jumps. At this point the tendon in my left shoulder blade decided it had had enough and started shooting little warning flares down my back

So I got a bonus round of stretching it while laying on the blue ball of death, swing my arm up and down until the pain was marginally less agonizing

Then regular stretching, and now I'm off with this month's assignments and the new goal to lose 5lbs this month (hahahaha)

Tuesday training - return of the Bulgarian

Ahh it's Tuesday. And we did one of those "not too hard today, but I won't be able to move tomorrow" workouts

By the time I was ready, Jason already had my old buddies waiting for me: the 25 and 35lb kettlebells, and my old friend the bulgarian bag

But of course we had to warm up first, a

Walking lunges and push-ups, then a bunch of swings with the bells and shoulder swings with the bag until I was sufficiently ready for the real work.

Spins with the bag, and clean and press with the lighter bell

Then swing to squat with the heavy bell, and snatches with the bag.

Then reverse lunge twists with the bag, and single leg deadlifts with the bell

THEN, V-ups (toe touch vups!) and back bridge push-ups. And the last set I really had to push up as high as possible.

And collapse. With a glorious stretch to finish.

Simple, but deadly.

Thursday training - return of the squats

Bonus training day today. My body is already in shut-down mode. Every movement is a sharp shot of muscle that feels like it's about to burst apart.

I even did a bonus yoga session yesterday. It was mediocre at best, but I reallllly needed to stretch.

So today Jason was ready. I certainly was not.  We headed straight to the squat rack. Which was occupied. So I did a walking warmup in the freeweight room and by the time I was done, the rack was free!

We started easy today, just built up to 135lbs.  I am definitely not ready for 200 yet.  But it was a good start and Jason was happy.

Then over to the TRX (I forsee a lot of TRX in my future). Today I  did pushups, rows, and pistol squats. The pushups are the hardest, trying to keep your arms from going all wibbly wobbly

Then we grabbed some kettlebells and made our way up front. But first a few rounds of step ups and reverse twist squats with 15lb dumbells

Then...snatches. With the 25lb bell. my old nemesis. I am still not great at these, and I will definitely have bruises on my arms tomorrow.

Then a few sets of swings with the 40lb blue bell, and then an agonizing stretch. Sooooo tight. Soooo damaged.

I have been prescribed an Epsom salt bath, and I will definitely be doing that. Ouchie.

Training Tuesday - St. Patty's day edition

Jelly. Entire body jelly. Arms jelly. Legs jelly. Wibbly wobbly.

The 'easing back into it' training curve steeply shot up to full speed very quickly in today's session. On top of that, as soon as I got to the gym I got very strong cramps in my abs, that lasted pretty much through the whole session. Fun. Nevertheless, I'm here and I'm paying for it, so I muscled through and somehow survived (just barely)

We started with walking warmups, then a few rounds of swings with the 25lb KB and 35lb KB.

Then moved on to clean & jerks, for a zillion rounds. I've managed to retain a semblance of proper form, despite feeling like a brick was trying to push its way out of my belly, and also having been out of practice for a few months.

Jason- 'Just like riding a bike' 

Me - 'yeah...a really heavy bike'

Then we did a super fun awesome time circuit set that is totally normal and not at all crazy:

- swing to goblet squat w/30lb bell

-kick throughs, where you start in a pushup position and alternate kicking your legs through the opposite side, like super fast twists

-prisoner squat jumps. Squat jumps with your hands behind your head (and your legs turning to jelly)

-bent over rows with two 15lb dumbells (and your arms turning to jelly)

We did that FOUR times. I had to rally through the last round. My body hates me already

And we weren't done!!! While I walked around in circles willing my body to continue, Jason wandered off and returned with the abs wheel of death. Of course for ab rollouts, which are agony and I am terrible at them. 

Then one leg bridge presses, which I am okay at. But then a trick repeat of the abs wheel! And more bridge press!

Then a merciful stretching session where we learn that I am ridiculously tight again.

So much work to do.

Training Day! This is gonna hurt in the morning

Training day número UNO!

I got stuck at home last week with a double-whammy: sinus infection and major snowstorm. So I had to postpone the actual start date of my glorious return to this week.

And glorious it is. I've been feeling particularly blobby lately, so desperately need Jason to whip me back into shape.  And he is more than happy to oblige.

So we began my glorious return with a reassessment of my situation. The gym has upgraded their training services a bit and have this nifty new program where you pick out your goals and see we're you are and what is achievable, blah blah blah. So, my goal - which I am putting out here in the interwebs - is twofold:

-lose 8 inches from various body parts (I'm looking at you, tumtum). Goal date: my birthday (that's 14 weeks)

-lose 20 pounds. In 10 weeks (that's 2lbs a week!! Whaaaaaat)

Supposedly these are totally do-able. According to Jason. Translation: I am going to die in a deep pool of my own sweat and tears.

So, we wrapped up the housekeeping and got into the workout. 

Oh wait but first, the MEASUREMENTS, blahhhh

Weight - 140lbs. Argh!!! So bad! worst ever! So much work to do!!

Waist- 33inches. Ugh! Gross! So much work to do!!

Bodyfat - 25%. Ehhhh that's actually about usual, same amount of work to do!

Ok, NOW we work out. 'Keeping it easy' today to check out my capacity and range of motion, etc etc... Aka, see how bad I've atrophied

Walking warmup as per usual (back and forth across the dirty dirty floor):

Walking lunge

Lateral lunge

Inchworm

But seriously my hands were black and sooty after the last pass, they really need to clean the floors more often.

We headed back to the freeweight room, and I did a few sets of Kettlebell swings (one arm - we started with a super light one and ended with the 30lb-er), reverse alternating lunge, and then a new thing: hop over the bench. So I stood next to an empty bench press bench (no easy feat at 7pm on a weekday) held onto one end, and hopped my feet back and forth over the bench. Surprisingly difficult by the last hop.

We ditched the freeweights and moseyed over to the TRX which has been moved downstairs into the middle of the stretching area for some reason. Shrug. I've only done TRX once or twice, so I totally looked like I knew what I was doing. (Not).

So I did rows- hanging suspended backwards and pulling myself up a bunch of times

Squats - basically just squats, but holding the TRX handles for no apparent reason

Pushups - holding myself up midair and trying to do pushups without my arms flailing all over the place.

Yeah, super easy workout. Insert emoji side-eye here.

Nice and sweaty, we went back up front and Jason put together my glorious workout plan and I am going to die later when I process exactly how much I have to do this month. And I have to stop eating. I mean keep eating, but not so much eating. And no eating after 9:30. Only water allowed (I negotiated for some camomile tea too).

Okay. I can do this.

And We're Back

I can't take it anymore. Meaning, I can't do it anymore. I can't train on my own, because that means I don't train at all. I think I worked out more during the month of October than I did in the entire winter since I left Jason. And I feel gross.

I know I can't really afford training, but I can't afford NOT training even more.

All it took was a message out of the blue, an offer I couldn't refuse, and he convinced me to come back. Before I could say 'vacation fund', there I was again swiping my poor little credit card for another five months of butt-kicking.

We have a LOT of work to do.

Leaving the gym, I felt a rush of familiarity and comfort that I've been missing more than I realized until this moment. It feels great to be back, and it will be worth every second.