Tuesday training - uncoordinated bells

It's Tuesday and we bumped training back 1/2 an hour. Which was good because of course a last minute emergency erupted at work that I gahad to deal with before sprinting to the gym

But I made it and we started the session building my calendar for the month, blocking out one glorious week that I'm going to DISNEY!! Two weeks away! So excited!!

But before then, I have a lot of work to do

After walking warmup, Jason brought over his fancy kettlebells and I did some swings and cleans with those. But then I had to try cleans with both bells together, and it was like I had never touched a kettlebell before.  The professional bells are so freaking big, that trying to swing both of them between my legs meant either smashing my fingers or cracking them into each other. So I opted for the latter (they did get my pinky in one pass though, still a little tender after that)

So we switched back to normal size bells and Jason coached me through breathing properly to get through cleans and then clean and jerks.

Then snatches with my buddy the 25lb bell. But snatched with squats. Killer. Then regular snatched to finish up with the bells.

We were supposed to switch to 15lb Dumbbells, but could only find one. So I was sent to hunt down the other one but some dude was using it for some pretty pointless looking side bends. Whatever

So we made it easier with the 12.5lb Dumbbells for overhead reverse lunge.

Then I had to finish with 25lb Dumbbells for squat jumps. But not full squat jumps, dainty little quick jumps. At this point the tendon in my left shoulder blade decided it had had enough and started shooting little warning flares down my back

So I got a bonus round of stretching it while laying on the blue ball of death, swing my arm up and down until the pain was marginally less agonizing

Then regular stretching, and now I'm off with this month's assignments and the new goal to lose 5lbs this month (hahahaha)

Tuesday training - return of the Bulgarian

Ahh it's Tuesday. And we did one of those "not too hard today, but I won't be able to move tomorrow" workouts

By the time I was ready, Jason already had my old buddies waiting for me: the 25 and 35lb kettlebells, and my old friend the bulgarian bag

But of course we had to warm up first, a

Walking lunges and push-ups, then a bunch of swings with the bells and shoulder swings with the bag until I was sufficiently ready for the real work.

Spins with the bag, and clean and press with the lighter bell

Then swing to squat with the heavy bell, and snatches with the bag.

Then reverse lunge twists with the bag, and single leg deadlifts with the bell

THEN, V-ups (toe touch vups!) and back bridge push-ups. And the last set I really had to push up as high as possible.

And collapse. With a glorious stretch to finish.

Simple, but deadly.

Thursday training - return of the squats

Bonus training day today. My body is already in shut-down mode. Every movement is a sharp shot of muscle that feels like it's about to burst apart.

I even did a bonus yoga session yesterday. It was mediocre at best, but I reallllly needed to stretch.

So today Jason was ready. I certainly was not.  We headed straight to the squat rack. Which was occupied. So I did a walking warmup in the freeweight room and by the time I was done, the rack was free!

We started easy today, just built up to 135lbs.  I am definitely not ready for 200 yet.  But it was a good start and Jason was happy.

Then over to the TRX (I forsee a lot of TRX in my future). Today I  did pushups, rows, and pistol squats. The pushups are the hardest, trying to keep your arms from going all wibbly wobbly

Then we grabbed some kettlebells and made our way up front. But first a few rounds of step ups and reverse twist squats with 15lb dumbells

Then...snatches. With the 25lb bell. my old nemesis. I am still not great at these, and I will definitely have bruises on my arms tomorrow.

Then a few sets of swings with the 40lb blue bell, and then an agonizing stretch. Sooooo tight. Soooo damaged.

I have been prescribed an Epsom salt bath, and I will definitely be doing that. Ouchie.

Training Tuesday - St. Patty's day edition

Jelly. Entire body jelly. Arms jelly. Legs jelly. Wibbly wobbly.

The 'easing back into it' training curve steeply shot up to full speed very quickly in today's session. On top of that, as soon as I got to the gym I got very strong cramps in my abs, that lasted pretty much through the whole session. Fun. Nevertheless, I'm here and I'm paying for it, so I muscled through and somehow survived (just barely)

We started with walking warmups, then a few rounds of swings with the 25lb KB and 35lb KB.

Then moved on to clean & jerks, for a zillion rounds. I've managed to retain a semblance of proper form, despite feeling like a brick was trying to push its way out of my belly, and also having been out of practice for a few months.

Jason- 'Just like riding a bike' 

Me - 'yeah...a really heavy bike'

Then we did a super fun awesome time circuit set that is totally normal and not at all crazy:

- swing to goblet squat w/30lb bell

-kick throughs, where you start in a pushup position and alternate kicking your legs through the opposite side, like super fast twists

-prisoner squat jumps. Squat jumps with your hands behind your head (and your legs turning to jelly)

-bent over rows with two 15lb dumbells (and your arms turning to jelly)

We did that FOUR times. I had to rally through the last round. My body hates me already

And we weren't done!!! While I walked around in circles willing my body to continue, Jason wandered off and returned with the abs wheel of death. Of course for ab rollouts, which are agony and I am terrible at them. 

Then one leg bridge presses, which I am okay at. But then a trick repeat of the abs wheel! And more bridge press!

Then a merciful stretching session where we learn that I am ridiculously tight again.

So much work to do.

Training Day! This is gonna hurt in the morning

Training day número UNO!

I got stuck at home last week with a double-whammy: sinus infection and major snowstorm. So I had to postpone the actual start date of my glorious return to this week.

And glorious it is. I've been feeling particularly blobby lately, so desperately need Jason to whip me back into shape.  And he is more than happy to oblige.

So we began my glorious return with a reassessment of my situation. The gym has upgraded their training services a bit and have this nifty new program where you pick out your goals and see we're you are and what is achievable, blah blah blah. So, my goal - which I am putting out here in the interwebs - is twofold:

-lose 8 inches from various body parts (I'm looking at you, tumtum). Goal date: my birthday (that's 14 weeks)

-lose 20 pounds. In 10 weeks (that's 2lbs a week!! Whaaaaaat)

Supposedly these are totally do-able. According to Jason. Translation: I am going to die in a deep pool of my own sweat and tears.

So, we wrapped up the housekeeping and got into the workout. 

Oh wait but first, the MEASUREMENTS, blahhhh

Weight - 140lbs. Argh!!! So bad! worst ever! So much work to do!!

Waist- 33inches. Ugh! Gross! So much work to do!!

Bodyfat - 25%. Ehhhh that's actually about usual, same amount of work to do!

Ok, NOW we work out. 'Keeping it easy' today to check out my capacity and range of motion, etc etc... Aka, see how bad I've atrophied

Walking warmup as per usual (back and forth across the dirty dirty floor):

Walking lunge

Lateral lunge

Inchworm

But seriously my hands were black and sooty after the last pass, they really need to clean the floors more often.

We headed back to the freeweight room, and I did a few sets of Kettlebell swings (one arm - we started with a super light one and ended with the 30lb-er), reverse alternating lunge, and then a new thing: hop over the bench. So I stood next to an empty bench press bench (no easy feat at 7pm on a weekday) held onto one end, and hopped my feet back and forth over the bench. Surprisingly difficult by the last hop.

We ditched the freeweights and moseyed over to the TRX which has been moved downstairs into the middle of the stretching area for some reason. Shrug. I've only done TRX once or twice, so I totally looked like I knew what I was doing. (Not).

So I did rows- hanging suspended backwards and pulling myself up a bunch of times

Squats - basically just squats, but holding the TRX handles for no apparent reason

Pushups - holding myself up midair and trying to do pushups without my arms flailing all over the place.

Yeah, super easy workout. Insert emoji side-eye here.

Nice and sweaty, we went back up front and Jason put together my glorious workout plan and I am going to die later when I process exactly how much I have to do this month. And I have to stop eating. I mean keep eating, but not so much eating. And no eating after 9:30. Only water allowed (I negotiated for some camomile tea too).

Okay. I can do this.