Training day - end of an era.

Well, it's Tuesday. The last Tuesday that will ever matter.  They say that the leading cause of divorce is money, and I think that is absolutely true. today I had to divorce my trainer. Because I have no money* 

(* I do HAVE money, but not in a rich-person-who-can-afford-a-personal-trainer kind of way)

We knew this day would inevitably arrive, but that doesn't make it suck any less.  It was a big decision to start training in the first place, but it was just as big a decision to stop. And a lot harder than i thought it would be. I've learned so much about myself, and so much has changed and improved in my life. and I'm gonna miss hanging out with Jason every week. Sadface.

The best scenario would be to hit the jackpot (or, you know, work really hard and get a raise), then I can train all the time whenever I want!  But for now I'm on my own and will have to finally do this by myself.  I'm hoping that I will keep this up and find ways to motivate myself now that I know stuff. 

So today I got to choose whatever I wanted to do, and somewhere in my messed up little brain I chose legs day.

So we did legs.

So much legs.

To start, the walking warmup across the   room.  then with the lobster band snug around my thighs I waddled back and forth until my glutes were on FIRE.

Then it was time to squat. Yay! I warmed up with just the bar while Jason went around collecting weights, and yelling at bad gym-goers who were slamming weights for no reason and breaking stuff

Then we added more weights and I did more squats and I worked my way up to TWO HUNDRED pounds, of course!! We had to at least get to two hundred for our last day :)

Then we wove through the free weight room to find a box and a 50lb barbell. And I did some new things. With the bar racked on my back shoulders, I did step ups on the box. Then Facing away from the box and the bar racked in front, I put one leg behind on the box for reverse lunge. That was crazy because I totally couldn't see where the box was so needed Jason to tell me how far to stand. And those are hard!!

We finished with those and made our way up front, to do a quick set of swing to goblet squat with the 45 lb blue bell of doom (remember that one time when it broke me? Seems like such a long time ago)

Speaking of breaking me, we ended with Jason pulling out two 27.5lb dumbbells. He set them on the floor with his evil smile spread uncontrollably across his face, and I knew I was about to die. For 25 jump squats. In a row. All at once. While holding 55lbs. TWENTY-FIVE jump squats!! I braced myself, jumped my little heart out, and collapsed immediately after. Like, not even playing around, my legs were SO over this.  I managed to roll around and get some feeling back in my lower half enough to stand back up. If anything just to prove that I could still stand.

Then it was time to stretch. Sad stretch. I'm gonna really miss training, it had become just a normal part of my life and now I don't get to do it at all :(

Boxing Day

Second to last training sesh for the foreseeable future. Big sadface :(

The big wedding has come and gone, so I'm giving myself a mental break from the standard overly critical microanalysis of my appearance. And I'll just have fun for a week before my last session with Jason before I'll be on my own to keep this old body in shape.

So today we just had fun and did boxing. Even though it's been a while, I think I'm getting better, and my hands did not hurt as much as last time (which hurt less than the time before...progress!)

I even managed to get at least one real hook in there, among the sea of terrible attempts. But it was fun to just punchy punch for an hour.

The jump roping not so much, but that's the price you have to pay in order to get to the fun stuff. Like an entry fee

Now I'm racing off to get to the polling place near my house before it closes! Flexing my civic rights muscles. Go vote!

Training day - final countdown

It's almost the end of super crunch time crazy diet cardio weight training insanity week.  This week has been merciless and today's session was no exception.  I pick up the dress tomorrow, and I know it's going to look good. It better, after logging 55+ miles this month and dropping 4 pounds. Yeah, you heard me

So we start with the walking warmup, then go straight to a KB warmup: 40 1 arm swings with the 30lb bell, then skipping over 40lbs, we went straight to one arm swings with the 50lb bell. THEN two hand swings with the 70lb bell. Twice. That was just the warmup.

Then with two 17lb dumbells, Jason proceeded to break me:

Walking lunge with curl and press across the floor, then when I reached one end alternating between tuck jumps and burpees. But traveling burpees. Like instead of jumping up, jumping FORWARD. Like an exhausted sweaty frog. 

After doing those way too many times, J pulled out the ol' medicine ball for me to throw at the wall from a variety of angles. The most fun one was by far the over behind the head throw, that rolls the ball back to you if you do it right

Then, sufficiently fatigued, it was time for vups and backbridge pushups. And stretching, glorious stretching

And now just two more sessions left, MASSIVE SADFACE.

Tuesday training - countdown

It's the week before the week of the big wedding. I've been running my little booty off, and it's time to get some weight training in.

Jason, very pleased to see how much cardio I've been doing, was ready with a full-blown session planned

First, warmup with 1000m on the rower. Then arm pulls with the rubber tube handle contraption (front, overhead, and back)

For the rest of the session we used the 30lb Kettlebell and bulgarian bag:

One arm swings with the bell, spins with the bag.  A bunch of times

Then clean and jerks with the bell, and snatch with the bag

Then side lunge twists with the bag a bunch of times and finished with one arm bent rows with the bell

And 20 vups, all at once. Yikes!!

Tuesday training - dress fitting edition

It's Tuesday! And I finally have a dress for the upcoming family wedding (woohoo!) so, now we know exactly how much work I have to do by the end of the month.

Here's a sneak peek

So much work to do

So, we get right to it and head over to the free weight room. I start with halos with my buddy the 25lb Kettlebell

Then a new thing today using one of the weight machines. It's the one with a handle hanging off a pulley strap contraption, and you sit and pull it down towards your chest. So I did those with 60lbs, staring with a lat pull, and then pulling the bar all the way down

When we had enough of those we took over a free squat rack for squats, obviously. And a quick set of clean and overhead press (using the squat bar. Seriously one of my least favorite exercises. I'm so bad at these)

Fortunately I only had to do two sets then we moved up front for some more fun

With two 25lb bells, a few sets of cleans. Then with one KB, a few sets of snatches. Then back to two bells for bent rows and alternating bent rows (ungh!)

Then to complete my sessionof misery: burpees. By the end, my legs refused to leg. 

Then some stretching and I showed off my dress at all angles, to show how much work we have to do. So much. 

Tuesday training

You know what day it is!! It's Tuesday it's training day!  And it's the last time i'llbe renewing my sessions. MAJOR SADFACE

So before I could start moping, I had to go straight into the warmup: walking lunge, lateral lunge and inchworm. And one hand swings with the 30lb bell

Then a series with the 25lb bell:

5 Overhead press

5 clean and jerks

5 snatch to squat

5 clean and reverse lunge

The first two sets were individual, then the last set was all in a row

Now I'm sweaty

Then three sets of dragon twists in a row

Then, with 17.5lb dumbells, overhead walking lunge (it doesn't look nearly as cool as it sounds, or maybe exactly as not cool as it sounds)

Then, with two of Jason's special purple bells, I did 'farmers walk' which is basically holding these massive weights at your side while walking back and forth across the floor. Something about bone density. I later learned that each bell is 45lbs.

After three sets of that, my arms were nearly about to pop off, but Jason was not nearly finished.  Back to the 17.5lb dumbells for pushup/renegade rows (yay), then goblet sqyats with the huge bell that is very hard to hold. My arms literally popped off. well not LITERALLY literally, but definitely figuratively.

Finally we ended with three sets of V-ups, then streeeetttching!

Weight training with myself

Well, its been a long loooong time since I've had to weight train solo, and it was tough getting back into the groove. Having a trainer twice a week really spoils you that way.

Plus I was training in a new weight room with a weird layout and way too many lunky dudes around. Needless to say, still not a huge fan of the gym next to my office. Not nearly as cool as my gym uptown, but I just can't drag myself all the way up there every day. Even twice a week was becoming too much.

Anyways, I bit the bullet and ventured past the usual stretching area and eventually found the free weights....all the way in the back corner. There is literally NO open space in this stupid gym. The crappy weight machines are packed so tightly, you literally have to contort yourself to navigate across the room (and mind you, I'm tiny compared to 90% of the people using the space)

So I carve out a teeny me-size space between the bench press and emergency exit door, grabbing the 15 and 20lb dumbells on my way over

And proceeded to turn my arms into jelly:

Warmup:

20 Hindu pushups

40 Hindu squats

45 second bridge hold

2x

Workout:

15lb:

manmakers - 5 (don't laugh, it's been a while!)

20lb:

Squats - 12

Renegade rows - 10 each

Side lunge - 10 each

3x

Abs:

12 vups

12 side vups each side

3x

Stretch. Home.

Tuesday training - old school style

It's Tuesday! It's training day!

I've really cracked down on my diet last week and this week. And I've started to get back in the groove of my supplement cocktail of green tea extract, tonalin CLA and classic omega-3 fish oil

I was still pretty tired going into todays session, but I can feel my belly starting to go back down to where it should be, and I was pretty pumped to get my workout on.

Today we did an old school workout which kept it interesting, but first the walking warmup. Then a few KB swings and squats (with the blue bell of doom) and jerks (with my buddy the 25)

Then Jason broke out the medicine balls. You know, like what Mr. Burns works out with, wearing a 1920s wrestling cap? Yeah those things. Anyways, using the 16lb ball (I totally didn't know they came in different weights), I had to do burpees, but in the jumping up part also had to throw the ball up to where the wall meets the ceiling. And yup, on the first throw I didn't even hit the wall! Haha! So lame. After a few tries I got the hang of it, and even got pretty close to the ceiling. The trick is to jump straight up not forward.

Then with the 10lb medicine ball, I had to side throw it against the wall (and catch it as it bounced back). Like a standing sideways wood chop. I did pretty okay with those.

Then Jason sent me off to go get some water. That should have been my first tip-off that something brutal was about to happen. By the time I got back, he was laying out the mat. 'but it's too early to stretch' was my adorably naive thought. And when the mat was laying flat, it revealed what had been hiding from my view: the evil wheel of death.

I reluctantly sat down and let him strap my feet to this evil contraption, then lay flat to embrace my fate. Hamstring curls. Like bridge pose, but with far more agony. My hamstrings were instantly sore, I could feel each individual tendon contract every time I pulled in my feet and lifted my bum. Blergh. Then when those were done I had to flip over (still strapped to the wheely thing of doom) for plank tuck knees to chest. Those are not so bad. But that's just in comparison to the hamstring curls. So I flippy flopped a few more times, 'like a pancake' haha. And finally collapsed after the last plank. Sweat dripping from my face. According to my sources my tushy is looking great, but at what cost?!?!

I was finally freed from the contraption, and feebly crawled my way up to standing. We balanced out the grueling hammy set with two 27.5lb dumbbells for bent over rows and good mornings (like deadlifts without bending your knees)

Then it was finally time for stretching. Glorious, painful, agonizing deep-tissue stretching.

I'm going on vacation next week, so I'll have to be very diligent while I'm away to keep up the momentum. So the assignment for the rest of this week:

Wed: intervals

Thurs: weight training

Fri: 4 miles

Sat: 3 miles (if I have time)

Tuesday training - cardio bell

It's Tuesday! I'm exhausted! Already!

But I woke up to some great news, my niece was born in the wee hours of dawn and baby is happy and healthy! Huzzah!!

So I floated through the day and zoomed up to the gym. But Jason was running late because of an...incident...in the men's locker room. I swear, boys just don't know how to act

So I amused myself on the rower until Jason found me and I skipped back over to the training room

We started with walkout pushups and squats, and then dove right in with the bells

With the 30lb bell, one arm swings. A bunch of times

Then with the 25lb bell, clean and jerks. Then with the 35lb bell, clean and jerks. So so many clean and jerks. Oh my arms. Oh my hands. I didn't think I would make it through the last set, but Jason was there to coach me through it.

Then a quick set of front squats, then rolly squats. I already forget what they're called. The ones where you roll all the way back, then roll forward and stand up.  So I did a set of those, then I'm supposed to do another set while holding the 25lb bell. I already know this is not going to go as planned.

I hold the bell in front of me, squat down to the floor and roll backwards while bringing the bell overhead. and then it keeps falling all the way back, bringing me with it. I'm literally shaking with laughter at this point and Jason had to help me off the floor

We switched to the 20lb bell, and I tentatively attempt the next set. I barely made it, but I managed to roll all the way back up to standing without dropping anything! Yah!

Then we finished with 25 snatches (per arm), TWICE.  Because I'm a fat fatty who needs more cardio in my life. Blahhh

Wednesday training

I can't believe it's almost halfway through September. The past few months have been unbelievably busy, and autumn will be even busier!!

I'm exhausted all the time but even still I can't miss my training day! And today nearly killed me. My legs are NOT happy with this

Started with a 1000m row for warmup. I had to take a second to remember how to do this, but I muscled through at just under 5 minutes

Meanwhile Jason gathered my toys for today: the bulgarian bag and two 17.5lb dumbbells. And then the torture began:

With the bag racked, 22 reverse lunge and twists, then 12 power snatches. Then curtsy squats with the dumbbells. Three times

Then, 10spins with the bag, followed by 50 mountain climbers. Three times

Then, 12 thrusters (squat to overhead press) with the dumbbells, followed by 8 single leg deadlifts (oh, my hammies are gonna feel that tomorrow). Yup, three times.

Surely we must be done, right? Sure, just after I finish TWENTY BURPEES. No stopping. Hah. Right. My body is booking its vacation, and I'm not invited.

Thursday training

Well, I survived the holiday weekend relatively unscathed. I was fairly strict with my diet, and pumped water constantly into my system. But then I got lazy and didn't make it to the market, so didnt really prep my meals for this week. Oh well

At least I felt better this week going into the  session, and even though we're down to the dregs of my training days, I hope I can keep up the pace

Jason was actually running a little late today, so I had that momentary panic that I've lost track of time and that maybe I had the wrong day. But never fear, he showed up and we were on our way to the freeweight room

And the squat rack was open! Huzzah! We started with the usual buildup, till I was down to three reps at the heaviest weight... 200! Yah!  Makin' a comeback :)

Then up front to finish up with the heavy bell for one hand alternating swings, then snatches with the 25lb bell

Then swing to front squat with the heavy bell, and bent over rows with two 25lb dumbbells

Then vups, then stretching, glorious stretching!

Training Thursday

Ugh. Today was brutal. I was seconds away from canceling today's session because I felt like a fat blob of shit with severe stomach cramps (why salad, why!? You're supposed to be the GOOD option)

But I manned up and went to train anyways. And boy jason was not happy to see me today. As much as I need to work out, getting yelled at for being a squishy blob isn't a great motivator either. Oh well, it's probably my fault for being complacent and not getting enough sleep since starting the new job. I'm just exhausted all the time, and can't be bothered to have to cook every.freakin.meal. Yuck

So, Jason kicked my butt today, and I muscled through it since I was the idiot who chose to show up even when I feel like shit. It's just so frustrating to know that I only have a few sessions left, and I'm ending fatter and lazier than when I started. I guess I'm never going to be a skinny girl after all :(

Regular walking warmup, then with the heavy bulgarian bag, side swings and shoulders. Then squats and jump squats (UGH) with the bag. Then reverse lunge and press followed by spins. Then weighted side lunges and one arm swings and mountain climbers. And we finished with thrusters, and finally stretching

Now I have a long weekend to haunt me. I know I'm not supposed to overeat, but I also know that I probably will. It may sound defeatist, but it's also reality.

Tuesday training day

Ugh today was underwhelming. It's just getting to be too much to have to sprint uptown to train. it's stressful having to rush out of the office at the last possible second and then exhausting wrestling out if a packed train to get to the gym

And today I just felt fat and gross and disgusting. After the first set I was basically just going through the motions. So fortunately we didn't really do anything today

Just a walking warmup, then arm band-stretches . Then some swing and round the bodies with the Kettlebell, then clean and jerks (ugh, SO over those), and finished with weighted jump squats (blahhhh not in the mood)

Now to go home and relish the upcoming holiday weekend. Just one more session between me and three glorious days off

 

Thursday training - throwback training

So today was pretty good. Work is crazy, but I have a pretty good handle on that. Still not getting enough sleep, so I gotta work on that. Also not getting enough cardio, so definitely need to work on that

So I had pretty good energy today, but still a little tired, so kept yawning a lot

I started by rolling my legs out on Jason's rolly ball of pain while he puttered around gathering the toys for today

We started with Kettlebell warmups with the 25lb bell: halos and around the body, then through the legs. 'Like a basketball player'. Yeah, I'm 5'1, no one would ever mistake me for a basketball player! Eventually I got the coordination down, but I kept picturing the bell slipping and crashing into my knees. Fortunately I avoided that

Then a few rounds of two bell swings, cleans, squats and presses. The problem was, my shoulders were dead after the squats so I kept having to rest before presses. Like a wimp

Then we moved on to the bulgarian bag for spins, then twisty snatches. Those are as hard as they sound. I vaguely remembered doing them a long time ago and tried a couple. And definitely needed a refresher.  They're basically like lumberjack chops, but on a much bigger scale, and with a bulky off-set weight to lug around. The hardest part was keeping my balance as the bag swung up overhead. I figured it out eventually.

Then we were almost out of time, so just a couple sets of snatches (regular ones, nothing fancy), and then reverse lunge twists with the bag. Those are the worst! But since we ran out of time I did t have to do jump squats, so I'll take that deal

Then glorious stretching. Note to self, don't badger your trainer when he has your hamstring in a bind. It won't end well for you!

Monday training - barbell day

It it was one of those days when you leave the house with a weird looming feeling that you're forgetting something important. No matter how many times I rummaged through my bag to check that yes, indeed I have everything as usual, my sneakers and a shirt and my lunch packed and my keys. All there. So I continue the day without incident until I'm on my way to the gym and remember i forgot my hair ties!!! gah! a desperate search through my bag, and i dont even have a hair clip to my name. the only thing i manage to find is an old ratty single stretched out elastic stuck to the bottom of a pocket. That would hardly do the job of holding up my increasingly wild mane of hair. So I had to throw together a French braid as I hustled out to train. By some miracle, it managed to hold for the whole session!

So apparently we were supposed to do a bunch of stuff with the squat rack today. Except all of them were taken, which means Jason had to improvise. Which never falls in my favor.

Sure enough, while I was off doing my walking warmup, Jason disappeared for longer than usual to gather the equipment. He returned, wheeling a three foot tall black cylinder with grenades imprinted on the top. What. Is. This.

Apparently it's some sort of portable plate stacking contraption, which goes with a weighted bar that may or may not be even more weighted than the regular squat rack bar.

While I practiced deadlifts cleans and push press with the empty bar, Jason started disassembling the weight stack. Then threw on some weights

Today was all about front rack, which I am absolutely terrible at. I still can't do a basic clean when the bar weighs over 60lbs. I dont use my legs at all to pop up, and then keep shrugging my shoulders in the catch when I should be relaxing an getting underneath. And then by the time I get the first few crappy lifts out of the way, my wimpy fairy dust wrists can't handle any more and just buckle under te weight.

Jerks and push press aren't much better. I can get the bar up, but lowering it back down, I can feel my wrists crying in pathetic misery.  And today, my right armwasn't  letting me extend all the way without pinching, so Jason very generously found the knot in my tricep and pushed it back and forth while I silent-screamed from the searing pain.

Remind me why I'm doing this again? Ugh

And I need to get fully back into yoga again, I've completely regressed and my hamstrings are tighter than ever. So frustrating.

Thursday twofer- training day!

It's Thursday it's training day! And I don't have to go back to work this time!!  Work has been kicking my butt this week, and I was exhausted before I even got to the gym.

And you know it's going to be rough when you're sore BEFORE the session starts. My butt was already feeling the pains of yesterday's labor. After today I will be immobile.

We're also in the last 10 sessions of my foreseeable training career. After that I just can't justify the expense, and the commute is killing me. "you have bills?" He says in disbelief 'no, I live in a magical land where rent is free and everything is paid for by a mystery money wizard!' I wish!!

So, the theme of our remaining sessions will be to recap everything we've ever done, with possible side effects such as death or permanent paralysis.

Today nearly killed me. I could barely move by the end, which as it turned out worked in my favor for stretching since I was basically limp and completely malleable rather than tense and in pain

Anyways. Back to the beginning. We started with pullups, for old times sake. But with lat lifts first, like little training pullups. And then real pullups, which i can do for at least one good set, but by the last round it's really just Jason pushing me up to the bar. And me trying not to kick my feet back too far. Ahem.

By then the squat rack was free, so I did the usual build up, adding more weights and less reps. But we took it easy today, just to 185lbs.

Then we moved up front and started with the 50lb red bell for swings. 'Two arm, right?' I ask. His look answered with a simple NO. One arm swings! yikes. Those, which were actually hard, followed by renegade rows with 2 17.5lb dumbbells. I like those, actually they're one of my favorites. But after pullups, my arms were like jelly And even these were tough.

We rounded out the session with the 45lb blue bell for swing to front squats, and finally one leg dead lifts with the dumbbells. My butt is going to be insanely sore this weekend. I already know.

Then we really ended with vups and backbridge pushups.  Oof, my back. I'm definitely due for a massage, and I kind of really want to find a chiropractor. Just to see if my alignment is okay or if there is some magic back cracker maneuver that will loosen me up!

Stretching was so necessary today, and Jason pulled out all the stops, stretching out the deep hip flexors and he even got my upper back and it felt soooo good.

Now to limp home and go cuddle in my nice quiet fluffy soft bed.

Wednesday training day

We had to skip training on Monday, and for once it wasn't because of my crazy excuses! So instead we trained today, which while awesome, landed on a super crazy day that means I still have work to do when I get home. Oh well

So we started with the usual walking warmup while Jason finished up wrangling a new client. So since he didnt really see my warmup, I had to do it again, but this time with 15lb dumbells, and some curl and presses thrown in. But since that wasnt enough I had to do it all again, with 20lb dumbbells. And since clearly THAT wasn't enough, I did it again with 25lb dumbells. My arms were about ready to pop off, so yes I think I'm warmed up now!

So we moved onto the workout, just kettlebells today, starting with my buddy, the 25lb: one arm swings, cleans, and snatches, 10 each. Then we switched to the 30lb bell, for more of the same, but just a smidge fewer reps.

We finished up the KB set with jerks, still with the 30lb bell, and so so many reps. So many

And I still had to do vups! And I totally didnt hear Jason say ten reps, so I kinda kept going until he stopped me at twelve. So I had to do the rest with 12 too. And my abs are now plotting my slow torturous death

At least we had stretching, painful agonizing stretching. And now to race home with a sliver of hope that I'll get any sleep tonight

Thursday training - just 195 today

Starting to feel better today. I definitely need to start cardio back up again, I'm getting squishy, bleh.

I got to the gym a little early somehow, so I ran for five minutes while I waited for Jason to show up. Lo and behold by the time I was done, there he was!

Heavy lifting today.

But not before warming up with the lobster torture band of death. Twice!

Then off to the free weight room, and my some miracle, the squat rack was free!  So we started with just the bar, then I squatted my way up through the plates. The best part of h ing  trainer is that he does all the knowing-of-the-exact weight, and all I have to do is squat. I like this arrangement, it leaves all the mental psych outs out of the picture.

I even had paparazzi today! 

I know that the weight is starting to get crazy when I'm down to just three reps per set. And today I had one-rep sets. You know, because that's normal. 

But at this point, I still have no idea how much is on there. My only job is to stand back up. But we needed to get a better picture so fortunately I had one more rep left

Look, there's Jason too! but i did t need a apot today, I did it all by myself! Sweating bullets, but I did two reps of 195, ta-da!

So after that was done, we moved further into the free weight room for barbell clean and press. I must say, these are not my favorite. I'm suppose to do this thing where I pop the (60 and 70lb) bar off my legs while it pulls up to clean, and I just don't get it. Plus the clean/press hurts my wrists by the last rep.  So we just quickly got through a few sets of that and moved on up to the front training area

For pistol squats. Because he knows I can. Even after squatting 195. While holding a 20lb Kettlebell, for three sets. And I did.  My legs will hate me this weekend. major yoga time is in the cards. Maybe even a massage

And we had to end with abs using the rolly wheel, just to show the random dude who was trying to do them next to me how it's 'really' done. With a lot of whining and protest while Jason shows no mercy

Finally it was time for stretching, and I was DONE.

Monday mayhem - training time

I woke up feeling particularly disgusting today. my body was in complete rebellion, like a toddler throwing a tantrum in the middle of the mall. The best I could do was squeeze Into my most forgiving work suit and drink lots of water all day

Fortunately this tactic seems to have worked, at least enough to feel functional by gym time.  And I even got there early! Early enough to get a five minute run in before the session started

Then we began with the usual walking warmup, and a Kettlebell swing warmup, with the 30 and 40lb bells

Then( with the 30lb bell) cleans and dragon twists. My cleans are still kind of wild and unruly, so today Jason braved his own physical wellbeing and stood a foot in front of me, while I hurled this massive weight up to my shoulder, internally freaking out that I would smash into him every.time.  He survived unscathed, just barely.

Then deadlifts and renegade rows to start cooling down. I am definitely going to feel my butt after those deadlifts.  And we finished with hanging leg lifts, where mostly what happens is that my tiny sweaty arms keep sliding so I'm mostly working to stay attached to the massive contraption rather than using my abs for anything

But stretching was particularly painful, I mean good, today. Jason pounded out my hammies, which hurts like the dickens, but is so necessary. They need to make a machine that does that full time, I would live in that machine

Training on a Wednesday!

I had to cancel another Monday session because I was busy hanging out at the clubhouse at citi field watching the meta do their thing. It was pretty cool.

Fortunately Jason could fit me in today at 6:30, and I barely made it out of work on time thanks to people not understanding what a 'hard stop' means. It means you can keep talking all you want, I stopped listening two minutes ago and you're now talking to yourself, as was explained beforehand.

Hellish doesn't even begin to describe this week. I've barely had a chance to breathe, much less think about working out. But Jason was ready for me, and showed no mercy (well, a tiny sliver of mercy, but just barely)

We started with the usual walking warmup, AND lobster-band of evil.

Then a mix of exercises, starting with step up to overhead press, with 17.5 dumbells. Then deadlifts with the HEAVY red bell I think it's 50 or 60lbs. Then over the shoulders with the 40lb medicine ball.

Three times

Then with the 35lb bell, one 10 arm swings, to 10 cleans (each side), to 8 push press (each side)

Also three times

At this point a gaggle of geniuses enter the room and spend five minutes trying to figure out how to get the boxes out of their storage space. And we laughed and laughed.

But then it was back to business. Vups forever, and I just stayed collapsed on the floor and yelped while Jason tried to stretch my legs to unnatural levels of distortion.

And I get to do this again tomorrow! Huzzah!

Thursday training!

We are back in full force! Today's session was brutal, but it's been a while since I've gotten a good ass-whoopin' at the gym.  I barely made it on time, again, and Jason was ready and waiting

Walking warmup, but in the free weight room today, while Jason hovered over the next available squat rack. 

Then some good old fashioned squats. Just a light set today, we worked up to 175.  Then back up front for a killer bulgarian bag workout:

Spins to pushups to powersnatch and a billion squat jumps. Oh my legs. Oh my arms. So much sweat.

Then a quick set of pure evil. I mean squat presses. Or whatever they're called. Basically rack two kettlebells, squat all the way down, then alternate presses. While still squatting. And apparently the 15lb bells were way too easy, so I had to switch to the 25lbs. Somehow managed to survive that, but then we were back to the bag!! For reverse lunge twists, and overhead lift things.

And I'm dead now.

Thursday training

Walking into the gym today, It felt like ihadn't  been there in months, And i only missed one session! Although I did get a pretty good workout on Sunday helping a friend replace a pool liner, that is a tough job!  And I got a pretty sweet tan line out of the deal 

meaning it is not sweet at all, and it's gonna look weird for a while, but at the same time I kind of love it, but I'm strange like that

Anyways once we got over the tan we got straight to business. I was pretty tired today, actually I've been tired all week, so I tried to get pumped up for today's session but most of it was pretty lame (on my part). The usual walking warmup, then straight to Kettlebell work

Warmup with swings, cleans, etc... And then two bell workout of swings, cleans, clean and jerks. It was the jerks that got me, I had to do so many, and my hands were sore and my arms were tired and there were so so many to do.

And after the swings, my left neck knot starting throbbing so we took a quick break to work it out, where Jason first digs his finger in to push it around while I fight the agonizing scream just moments from screeching past my lips. Then he brought out this little contraption that looks like two small cones attached to a stick (like a tiny version of the american gladiators fighting sticks, where they try to knock each other off the pedestal?) except this thing is made of pure evil. I had to lie down on the mat, nestle the evil stick behind my shoulder and lift my arm above my head which while jason ever so gently pressed my hand all the way back. I basically had to tap out after three seconds, the pain is so intense. And I did this five times. After I was released from that death trap, my shoulder did feel a lot better. But at what cost?!

Anyways, we continued with dragon twists and then got super fancy with windmills. And then got more super fancier with windmill with half press things? I forget what it's called, it's where you start with the bell racked then press it up while the rest of you goes down. Then stand up like a regular windmill. Insane. And insanely hard.

Monday training - superhero day

So today I trained with captain America, well Jason dressed as captain America, or at least wearing a captain America tshirt. Which seemed odd that he didn't wear the usual training uniform, but then I saw batman and superman taking a group fitness class, and it was quite normal in comparison.

Today was a crazy hectic day and I was basically running on fumes by the time I got to the gym.  No mercy in training though, plus I have a huge company party tomorrow so I need to get in my preemptive strike today.

Three point lunge and walkout pushups and one arm swing with the bell to warmup

Then we did a bunch of things with the bulgarian bag and bells, in sets of two:

Spins to squats to pushups on the bag

Alternating swing with the 30lb bell

Power snatch to jump squat with the bag

clean and squat with the 25lb bell

Alternating jump lunges with the bag

Reverse lunge twists with the bag

Overhead lifts with the bag

Half snatch with the 30lb bell (yikes)

I was sooooo tired by now I had to power through those last few snatches

Then backbridge pushups, and stretching. My hamstrings are still sore from Mondays deadlifts. Still.so.sore.

Monday training - back to full speed

It's Monday, and kind of gloomy and ominous outside. Which means droves of people flocking to the gym

Good thing I have a trainer so I don't have to fight for the equipment!  Today the first question was how I was feeling. And I'm feeling great. Every day I'm back to normal and eating better and feeling less like a blobby waste of space. Nothing hurts (so far) and I'm ready to get back up to full speed.  Within reason, of course

Today was a moderately difficult session, starting to reincorporate heavy weights with basic (and some not so basic) movements.

Walking warmup then I zipped through the lobster band, a little too quick but I didn't have to do them again so oh well

Then with two 15lb dumbells, walking lunges with curl and presses, then with the 40lb Kettlebell: one arm swings and swing to front squats (Oof). Did those 3 times

Then with the 25lb Kettlebell, snatch to overhead squat to windmill (yep, all in one rep!) followed by renegade rows with the dumbbells (yay! I love those, it's been so long!) 3x

Then with 20lb dumbells, squat to press, aka 'thrusters' followed by 30lb Kettlebell single leg deadlifts. Also 3x

Then 15 vups, for good measure. And stretching!

Thursday training day - bells bells bells

Yay it's Thursday it's training day! It's been a few days back from vacation, and I already can feel my body desperately detoxing itself from a week+ of consumption and revelry. I'm still chubby and lumpy in all the wrong places, but I feel way better already after only a few days back on the regular

Objectives for the rest of the month: -get back on the supplements -get back to full hydration. Maybe next month we'll tackle getting more sleep.

I ranted, well okay whined, to jason about how tough it is to stay motivated now that everything has changed. I used to be at the gym every day and it was right there and so easy and I know everyone and the equipment works. Now it's out of the way and the other location sucks and I don't know anyone and the equipment is crap. So Jason said he would go with me to check it out and help me like it better, yay! It still won't be the same, but maybe I'll be more comfortable if he's there even just for one day

So we started with the basic walking warmup an lobster band, then got busy with a two 25lb Kettlebell workout:

One arm swings to start, then swings with two bells (actually everything after this was with both bells), I could feel a crick behind my neck with the swings, so Jason poked around my shoulder blade and found.the.spot. Apparently I have a 'massive knot' that he pushed around for about an hour (more like a minute, but it felt like eternity, an eternity of deep-rooted agony). We did the best we could and it did help relieve the pinching. Then it was on to cleans, squats, clean and squats, and some crazy stuff (that I swear Jason just makes up), alternating overhead press (with both bells, the first set was a wash but then I actually got the hang of it  and did pretty well with the rest).

Then, the most evil thing I've ever heard of: alternating cleans. My brain was like, 'yeah okay, wait wait...what?' Jason had to show me: from the rack, drop one bell, then as you clean, drop the other bell, and then keep alternating drops while magically keeping the other bell racked. Lets just say my first attempt went about as expected, it looked nothing like what he showed me. I could barely do one at a time, much less all of them in rapid succession. This was pretty much the Kettlebell equivalent of my pathetic doubles with the jumprope. I can keep trying, but it's not going to happen.

So we moved on from that craziness and did a set of overhead squats. It sounds so simple, until you have to get back up. I managed to get the proper muscle groups kind of working (my abs suck, they're so lazy and never want to do anything)

Then a few rounds of snatches (just with one bell, I was starting to get tired by now) and stretching and done! Woohoo!

Monday training - back from vacay

Well, I had a really great vacation, and even got in a few runs! Of course I still ate way more than I exercised and came back a chubby little food monster. Mercifully, we skipped the weigh in today and I'll have a week to detox from my vacation.

But this happened:

SUPER CRAZY AWESOME!!!

I got a surprise birthday present for a skydiving lesson at Skydive Baltimore, and it.was.awesome.

So of course the first thing I do when I get to the gym is make Jason watch the video (coincidentally, the skydiving instructor was also named Jason, which actually made me feel better at the time). Just watching the video again made me all giggly and super excited, perfect conditions to start a workout (since I was feeling kind of blahhhh before)

So, we got right to it: walking warmup, and lobster band warmup. Then a Kettlebell workout with a 25lb bell:

10 swings, cleans, press, and front squat, alternating arms. I think I did that twice

Then 5 half-snatch and overhead reverse lung each side.

Then 10 snatch/overhead lunge/half-drop, each arm

then 15 clean and jerks each arm, twice (the second round really focusing on my form and not sticking out my belly so much, apparently standing straight up is just asking too much from my stupid body)

THEN 15 swing to snatch, each arm. Which then popped off. I mean, I'm surprised they didn't pop off.

Then stretching (and yes, it's finally time for me to join the yoga studio down the street, my lack of flexibility is pathetic at this point)

Thursday training - back to it!

Today we made up for my pathetic excuse of a workout on Monday. Wasting no time, we marched straight to the pull-up bar. for 5. I think I did mostly one by myself. And then complained for the rest of them (fifteen total, by the last one, I could barely grip the bar, much less hoist myself up there). In between sets I did halos with the lighter bell, and my forearms were already getting pumped (in the actual blood-engorged way, not the really-excited-to-be-here way).

And that was just the warmup. We moved deeper into the freeweight room for some good old fashioned barbell clean and overhead presses. With 50lbs, then 70lbs. Then 80. Jason tried to show me a new technique with the 80 where you push off with your knees or something? It looked cool in theory, and was not going to happen in reality. So we scrapped that idea.

Someone was hogging the squat rack, so I had to use the huge machine instead. I'd rather do squats. Oh well.

Then we moved up front to finish the session with some easier stuff. So swing to squats with the 40lb bell, snatches with the 25, and over the shoulder hoisty things with the medicine ball (throw overs? Overshoulders? I forget what they're really called)  and even though it feels easy, and it sounds simple, by the end I was sweating buckets. Ew

Then some stretching, and now I'm on vacation for a week! Woohoo!

Monday training - birthday recovery

Yesterday was my birthday. Today was rough. As soon as I walked in to the gym, Jason knew this was not going to go well. So while I shuffled off to change, he came up with an easy workout and we got through it together. 

Walking warmup, then leg band warmup.  Then we stuck with my buddy the 25lb bell for the rest of the session, and I just focused on getting through in one piece.

One arm swings, with decreasing reps each set (it's a birthday miracle!)

Then cleans, with an extra set of swings in there because Jason wasn't paying attention, and I forgot what I was supposed to be doing.

Then presses

Then clean and presses

Then snatches

And finally, clean and squats.

Oh, and vups. 

Then stretching! I survived! Now I can finally go home and curl up into my bed and never leave it ever again.

Thursday training - end of a decade

Welp, the time has always been looming on the horizon, and today was that day. The last session of my young and spritely twenties.  Yes, by the next time I'll be writing up a session post, I will be an old and wizened grown-up. 

So, as a rite of passage, today's theme was 'lets see if she makes it out alive'. And I did, just barely.

We started with jumprope, and Jason has regressed from counting down the time, to just telling me how long to go, to now just telling me to start and stopping me when time is up. And guess which method works the best (hint it's the last one. Apparently I function well in blissful ignorance). But I did five minutes without stopping!! Haha! So we were off to a good start

Then a quick warmup with the stretchy band, pulling it open with my arms extended in front of me, then with my arms overhead, and finally pulling it from behind my back. That one is killer on the shoulders

Then I did a whole bunch of stuff with the 17.5lb dumbbells: reverse lunge with overhead press, and alternating side lunge. 

And then he tried to kill me: with the 17.5lb dumbbells racked, 15 deep squats followed immediately by 15 jump squats (yeah, STILL with the dumbbells). You know it's crazy when the other trainers are staring in disbelief. 

I do this thing after a crazy set where I walk in a circle around the weight. After this set, I was doing laps around my trainer. jump squats are mean. Weighted jump squats are pure evil.

When I had recovered (barely), we continued with bent over rows and walkout pushups (this is the workout equivalent of having breakfast for dinner)

While I was doing my last few walkout pushups, Jason gathered the mat and towels per our usual time-for-stretching routine. But it was not time for stretching. He was preparing my deathbed.

Leg raises. Toe touches. V-ups. Dead.

Monday training

Today we took it pretty easy. And easy means the 32lb and 42lb kettlebells, with some medicine ball thrown in, just for fun

Also, everyone was distracted by the World Cup match playing, the one where USA scored a goal within the first minute

So, we took it easy:

Warmup, walking warmup across the floor, which was pretty empty and easy for me to barrel down. And even more walking warmup with the lobster band strapped above my knees (my butt, it burns!)

Then one arm swings with the 30lb bell while Jason recounted how well he did during his KB competition over the weekend (woohoo!)

Then cleans, then jerks, then clean and jerks, all with the 30lb bell

And then we moved on to the big guys: swing to squat with the 42lb bell. Then for the grand finale, I had to take the 40lb medicine ball, hoist it up above my head, then slam it down as hard as I could. Unwieldy is putting it mildly. By the end I was getting the hang of it, but I'm not very good at slamming things or making big noises, so it took a couple rounds to really get it right

Then just a few back bridge pushups for good measure, and then stretching time, and we really dug into my IT band today (ouchie)

Thursday training day

So, a funny thing happened this morning. I was groggily going through the usual get-presentable-for-public-interaction routine, and right when I reached the point of folding up the cuff of my pants (yes I'm short, lets move on), I stood up and immediately felt a surge of hot pain shoot up my right knee. So I hobbled around in shock and agony, and it seemed like I could bend my leg just fine in any direction, and even stretch it out with my toes pointed, AND even stand on it on my tippy toes. But as soon as I tried to stand flat on the ground, the same intense hot pain came back again.

And I still had to get to work. Somehow I was able to find a pair of shoes that I could walk in without looking like an injured foal, but I definitely was concerned on how I would fair during an actual workout.

It's a good thing my trainer is super awesome.

'Yeah, that's not good' he says when i recount my eventful morning. so he had me start with the foam roller to loosen up my legs, and then use the pain-ball to really dig into my hamstrings.

Then we started with walkout pushups and windmill arm things with 5lb weights (dont let the light weights fool you, those things are tough)

We did a lot of new stuff today, that's what I get for missing a session!

For the first set, we used 17.5 lb dumbells, and I did these things where I press the weights up while going down into a lunge. I bet they have a name, I just have no idea what it would be. Then with two 30lb kettlebells, I had burpees. Yes, burpees. Of course, it was more like burpee down, deadlift up. The hardest part was keeping the pushup steady on the handles of the kettlebells, I kept trying to push out instead of straight down.

Then for something completely different, with two 25lb dumbbells, I went into a deep squat, Korean-style, and did overhead presses, yes, while still in the  squat. Which immediately sparked a debate over whether this was actually a real thing or if jason was just making it up. Expert witnesses were consulted, the results were inconclusive (Apparently it's real, he googled it, a Sots squat or something)

Anyways, I banged out a few of those and my back could really feel the effects (not to mention my arms, yeesh). And we finished off with good mornings, Kettlebell style. With the 30lb bell, bring it behind your head like a halo, but lower it down until its resting on your back holding onto the handle, then bend forward and stand back up again. All was good until the end when I had to 'dismount' the bell. By now my arms were so tired that I couldn't pull the bell back around my head! Good thing Jason was there to help me out of my predicament.

We finished with a few sets of v-ups, then stretching, woohoo! I made it through the whole session with no pain in my leg at all. One of the perks of training with the best :)

Thursday Training - Super duper easy peasy

Thursday, June 5, 2014

It would help if I actually published this when I wrote it! Sheesh.

Thursday, it's training day. Work was crazy. And not just for me. I think both of us needed an easy session today, so I just did a bunch of heavy lifting, without toooo much cardio.

Just three minute jumprope to start. Blah, my entire legs were on fire. Like, I could feel my thighs tightening in the burn as I finished time.

Then, with a 17.5lb dumbbell in each hand, I walking lunged my way back and forth across the room. Fortunately it was pretty empty today, so I didn't have to dodge too many bodies. And some clean and presses thrown in for good measure

Then, with two 30lb kettlebells, I did deadlifts and one hand alternating swings (with just one bell of course. remember that time I threw out my back doing those with the 45lb bell? Fun times)

And we finished with holding one of the 30lb bells goblet style while doing side lunge and cross reverse lunge backward curtsy things.

And then we were basically out of time (we were a little chatty today), so I just had v-ups and quick stretching, and done!  Quick and painless (well, some pain, but less than usual)

Monday Training Day - Holy Hip Opener batman!

It's Monday, you know what that means, training day! And after this weekend, I needed to get my butt kicked into shape.  And Jason was more than happy to oblige.

It is also the first training sesh of the month which can only mean one thing: weigh in. Argh. I know I've been bad this month, and haven't worked out nearly as much as I should, and eaten way too much, including the clean eating challenge (it may be clean, but it was still over 1300 calories per day!)

So, I weighed in the heaviest ever, at just over 139lbs (I still think the bar was tipping lower, but whatever). But my measurements dropped (by a sliver) and we ended up at 26.5% bodyfat. So even though I feel like a hefer, to most people I probably look exactly the same. Oh well.

So we got right into it with the leg bad of deep dark doom. Seriously, this thing is beasty. Picture the rubber band you put over lobster claws, only human sized, and it goes around your thighs. And then imagine walking across the room with this band tight around your legs, and then also side-stepping across the room. And then imagine that as you are stomping your way down, someone lit a match inside your legs, and now the deep insides of your muscles are smoldering and the fire is spreading. And you still have to go back. That was the first exercise

Then we continued warmup (we haven't even gotten to the workout yet!) with the 35lb Kettlebell for one arm swings.

Then, still with the 35lb bell, clean and jerks,  followed by 2 minutes jumprope, evil evil jumprope. We also did swing to squats with the 45lb bell. Again followed by jumprope. At first Jason was counting down the time, but it kept throwing me off and I would trip because the mind games would psych me out. So for the last few rounds of jumprope I asked him to only tell me when the time was over, and I made it the whole two minutes without tripping!

Then I did snatches with the 35lb bell (yikes), and by the last set I was exhausted. Like, beyond exhausted. Like, it almost went flying out of my hand once because my grip had given up. And the last set of jumprope, I couldn't make it ten seconds without tripping, my feet just would not get off the floor. That's what I get for letting myself get lazy and blobby.

So we finished with the usual stretching, with some new stretches we've been doing, such as holding down my knees in butterfly until my hips feel like they're going to pop out. Super duper hip opener. Like wow

Clean Eating Week: Food Prep Sunday

Okay, so everyone was much amused by my buzzfeed Clean Eating challenge, and although I didn't make it to the second week, I'm surprised I made it as far into the first week as I did.

But, as I mused on my summary post, the worst part about the clean eating challenge (besides surviving without coffee) was how much work and cooking time was involved. Not very practical or realistic for a working girl who hates cooking.

I have my own version of clean eating that is both reasonable and affordable.  It's basically an example of 'if I can do it, you can probably do it better'. Because I'm lazy.

So. My typical week of clean eating usually involves $50 or less of groceries, and 3-4 hours of food prep (per week, NOT day! That would be ridiculous!)

In a nutshell, I try to do all the food prep on Sunday, divide it up into containers for each day, and then I'm done with cooking for the week! Huzzah!  The downside is, if I don't prep everything on Sunday, I'm much less likely to do anything until the next week, and my diet completely derails. D'oh.

I usually get 90% of my food from Trader Joe's but this weekend I wasn't able to make it over there, so I got everything at the local grocery store in my neighborhood (so it was a little pricier than usual, but still under $50)

Grocery list for the week:

Breakfast:

32oz plain non-fat yogurt - $4.99

Bob's red mill honey oat granola - $3.99 (won't use the whole thing this week. I usually get TJ's praline granola)

6 oz Fresh blackberries - $2.50

1 lb Fresh strawberries - $2.50 (I never find strawberries that don't look like a mushy hot mess. These looked spectacular, I couldn't not get them!)

Snacks:

2 apples - $1.85

2 pears - $2.75

2 forelle pears - $2.54

Baby carrots - $1.50

8 oz Hummus - $2.79

5 Bananas - $2.04

Lunch:

Small Lettuce head - $1.00

Nappa cabbage - $4.96

1/2 lb Sun dried tomatoes - $3.68 (I used half, save the other half for next week)

2 sweet potatoes - $1.52

3 limes - $.75

Dinner: 

1 lb Frozen mixed veggies - $.99 (there was a sale, so I stocked up on these for the month)

2 broccoli stalks - $2.49

Things I already had:

quinoa

Frozen chicken breast

Almonds

Spices, oil, etc...

Storage containers

Not too shabby, and easily carried home by myself.

It took about three hours to prep all my meals for the week.  I'll try to write up the prep guide and recipes for what I did with all that food!

(Here's a sneak peek):

Wednesday...training day?!

So it's been a pretty strange week, after a long weekend at home, including Monday's holiday, Tuesday I worked from home (thanks to a super fun trip to the dentist), so it has been for.ev.er since I made my way to manhattan or even worked out

Of course I would have worked out over the weekend if I had been able to move. Except it felt like I had two solid muscle patties injected into my back thanks to dead lifting 165 pounds (!), which meant I spent most of the weekend either doing yoga or staying as stationary as possible.  I debated getting a second massage this month and finally caved in and got one on Monday and it was glorious.

So then today, I had all my cardio gear and was meant to run 3 miles today (and was dreading having to do this), but instead I got a text (and email) from Jason asking if I could train today instead. Yes! That's exactly what I needed after an extra long weekend

So I ditched work and hustled over to the gym. Of course I had my cardio gear with me which today was a bruins tshirt. Jason just shook his head. Hey, it was either that or my islanders tee.

We started with the usual walking warmup and a new thing: walking with a resistance band. But this was not like other resistance bands, this one was THICK. So I shimmied it up above my knees and proceeded to crab walk and Godzilla stomp back and forth across the floor, until my legs burst into flames. this was a smoldering kind of burn, deep on the inside. I couldn't even find a way to stretch it out!

So Jason went to gather the bells while I tried to find a way to stretch out the deep tissue in my legs, and we got ready for a day of Kettlebell sets. First with the 45lb, one arm swings, just to warm up. Then with the 25lb bell, clean and presses , then back to the 45lb bell for goblet squats

As if that werent enough, I did a few rounds with the 35lb bell of snatches (exclamation point) and cleans. At first my cleans looked crazy, but Jason wasted no time fixing me and by the end I was looking pretty good!

So we were almost done and he dragged over the big red bell, for 50 swings. Yeah I can totally swing this thing....okay maybe I can swing it a little bit. Okay three sections is good, let's do three sections

And I did so good I got extra stretching time! Woohoo

Thursday training day

It's Thursday, it's training day! It's time to feel things. Things like sweat and pain

I was feeling pretty good today. I brought back the little ball Jason let me borrow to roll on my foot and he laughed and let me keep it! Score! This is starting out to be a great session.

I am now sitting on the train on my way home, exhausted, and I'm already sore. So in Jason's world, this was a great session.

So, we started smack dab in the middle of the free weight room. For good old fashion deadlifts. He just kept adding more weights and I just kept liftin' 'em. I made my way up to 165lbs today! The last few reps were crazy, and I definitely could not have done any more

So we left that craziness and moved up front for a milder but still crazy workout. With a 25lb dumbbell in each hand, I did walking lunges back and forth across the floor, with standing pushpress in between laps

Then we got out the big box for step ups and box jumps (whee! I love box jumps!)

And then Jason pulled out the mat. Yay, stretching time, right?! Not so! First we made a detour to the weird looking abs benches where I had to lie back and hold on to the handles overhead, and lift my legs to touch my toes to the bar, ABOVE MY HEAD. Ohhhhh emmmm geeeeee, my abs. Oh my abs. So weak, so fire, so burn.

I am exhausted.

Monday training

It's Monday, you know what that means, training day!

It's the first day of recovering from the clean eating challenge, and I already felt more energized going into today's session. Which was good, because what Jason had planned took every ounce of energy to get through. The fact that I can now manage to move my arms is a miracle.

We started with jumprope warmup, which I gingerly jumped through because I didn't want to risk my foot snapping on me like it did this during my run over the weekend (not literally, it just felt like it was going to snap after the third mile, fun times)

Then walking warmup: lunges, side lunges walkout pushups, the usual. Then...foam rolling? Something was up, we don't usually foam roll at this point. So while I'm rolling out the achy pain, Jason announces that today I'm doing a triathlon. In Jason language, that means kettlebells. And in Mayu language, that means my hands are going to die today.

So, the plan was, 6 minutes of jerks, 6 minutes of snatch, 6 minutes of long cycle (aka clean and jerks). You know, no big deal, whatevs. (::internal screaming::)

Oh, this is gonna suck, I already know. I don't know how this is going to make me skinny, or get my fat to disappear, but I do know that my hands are going to hurt and my arms will want to pop off. After the first minute.

Fortunately I only had to do this with the 25lb bell, and warmed up with some practice sets first to get a feel for it. I chalked up (whee! cough sputter, cough, gave it a whirl and was ready to go. And then the timer came out. 

One reason I know I would do terrible in a competition (any competition) is that as soon as there is any kind of time involved I immediately psych myself out. Having to keep a pace or reach a goal in any timed event is not my forte. I'm much more likely to slow down or stop the closer I get to the end. A bit counter productive to the point of a competition.

I would much rather not know the details or play by play, and just find out how I did when everything is over. If I know exactly where I am and how much longer there is to go, my brain starts a rapid fire succession of hyper-analyzing every movement, criticizing each mistake, counting how far behind or ahead I might be, and calculating how tired I THINK my body should be at that point. 

Once that starts, I immediately notice a change, and thus starts a dark steady spiral of decline. until I just give up or the time miraculously runs out. And that's just when conditions are perfect. If I feel any pain or discomfort, that decline becomes exponential.

So anyways, what that meant for today was that before I even chalked up to warmup, I was already at war with my brain, lying to myself that this was going to be no big deal, and immediately knowing that I was losing that battle.

But that's why Jason is there! I got through the 6 minute jerk set with basically no problem, I could feel my shoulders burning by the end, but almost nothing in my grip, so with his coaching I made it to the end. And stretched my shoulders for five minutes. 

And then the snatches. I'm already hyper-paranoid of my hands tearing every time I drop, and even with chalk the bell keeps catching on the squishy part of my palm and it hurts like hell. I managed to get through almost half of the first arm with snatches, but I was going too fast and had to slow down to the pace Jason was setting, and it was just too much thinky brain activity going on and my elbow was not keeping up, so I dropped the bell before it gave out. I still had to finish on the other side, but basically already gave this set up for a loss.

So we regrouped and got ready for the last set of longcycle. My arms were exhausted already and I was fully encompassed in psych-out territory before even picking up the bell. In a last ditch effort to salvage this session, I basically just stopped caring about how many reps per minute I was supposed to do (8) and just went at whatever pace I wanted to, with a little extra time in between so I wouldn't have to think about slowing down any further. I think I did around 6 per minute, which was fine by me. And at least I finished it, but I was pretty done with life by that point. I can't lift my arms, but arms are overrated, right?

We were out of time (gee I can't imagine why), so I was spared having to do whatever I was supposed to do with the bulgarian bag (hah! As if I could use my arms at this point)

So I got an extra long stretch session and even got into the hip flexors today. And Jason let me borrow a roller ball to help fix my foot before my run tomorrow. Yay! I'm happy again

Summary: buzzfeed clean eating challenge

Well, I survived the first week of the Buzzfeed clean eating challenge. I certainly learned a lot, and had some crazy mouth adventures, but after much deliberation*, I've decided not to continue the second week. Not that I'm going to immediately run out and grab a burger and fries**, I'll just resume my regular eating plan for the rest of the month, starting with the abundance of leftovers this past week has supplied.

*not that much deliberation  **this might happen though

After a week of following the clean eating plan, here's what I learned (both about the plan, as well as myself):

What I learned after a week of the Buzzfeed clean eating challenge:

Pros

pretty good recipes

This plan has some pretty good recipes if you need new ideas to shake up your boring old food routine. Aside from a few miscalculated ingredients, the instructions were easy to follow and a lot of it came out really tasty. I learned that I might actually like cooking (gasp!), or at least am better at it than I think.

photogenic meals

Aside from easy to follow and mostly delicious recipes, the food itself was very pretty to look at. Even with my lack of culinary enthusiasm and simple iphone camera, I was able to whip up and capture some pretty impressive looking meals.

sets a plan

The best part of this food challenge is that it gets you to set a plan and schedule meals. You are forced to think about the food you are eating: you have to make everything yourself, measure things out, plan for leftovers, and account for each meal throughout the day. 

you feel good!

Although it feels like you are CONSTANTLY cooking or eating all week, you won't feel bloated or overly full at all. The meals for this plan really do make you feel good, and it also seems to help clear out the system, if you know what I mean

Cons:

too many recipes

While the meals for the week are all unique to keep things interesting, in reality it's actually way too much food to buy and prep for one week.  Maybe I just suck at food storage, but since I'm not a fresh produce wizard with a magical time-suspending refrigerator, I ended up picking out bits of things that were going bad before their time came up in the schedule, and even had to replace a few items entirely. Thus defeating the purpose of getting all the groceries in one shot (which I normally do every week with much success)

not practical

To piggy back off the first point, this meal plan is oddly not very practical, particularly in how it uses up leftovers. For example: cooking half the asparagus on the first day, and then saving the rest for the very end of the week; or buying collard greens the first day, when you don't really need them until after shopping for week 2; or making chili then freezing half to use a week later. None of this makes sense to me. I have no problem with leftovers, and would much rather make one thing and use it up over consecutive days rather than make something new every day and THEN go back to whatever was leftover three days later.

costs too much 

Because of the volume and variety of foods needed for the plan, it would easily cost at minimum $100 per week, not counting the amount of food waste and replacement. I usually average 50 bucks a week on food, and don't have to throw anything out. So, yeah

not enough fueling for workouts

Something that actually surprised me about this week was how EXHAUSTED I was. The whole week. And it was one of the least busy weeks I've had in a long long time. Yet I was almost literally dragging through each day, particularly during my workouts. While this food may be clean, it's more about eating less junk and cleansing the body, less about fueling with energy. As an 'athlete' (I use that label extremely loosely), I was struggling through my workouts this week, yawning through both training sessions, and bumbling through cardio. And it's not like I was doing anything extraordinarily challenging. The lack of coffee did not help.

doesn't work with my schedule

The primary reason why I can't continue with another week is that this meal plan, while fun and interesting, simply doesn't work with my schedule. I don't have time to be whipping up fancy omelettes in the morning before work, nor do I want to be cooking for an hour when I get home, exhausted, at 9 o'clock at night.  I just ended up snacking on dates and almonds while waiting for the food to cook, thus defeating the purpose of the week! I do much better with meal prepping at the beginning of the week, and having my meals planned out and ready to go when I leave in the morning and get home at night.


In Summary:

I had a lot of fun testing out this food challenge and explored a lot of new things that I would never have otherwise tried (I'm looking at you fennel) and made some really delicious meals (most especially you, mind-blowing lentils). It's important in life to know when to let things end. We had our ups and downs, good times and bad, and the time has come for the clean eating challenge and I to part ways. We had a good run, maybe we can stay friends.

This morning I gleefully welcomed coffee back into my life. Let's never be apart again

Want to follow along from the beginning? Start Here, then check out Day 1, Day 2, Day 3, Day 4, Day 5, Day 6, and Day 7

Day 7: Buzzfeed clean eating challenge

Today's been a pretty lazy Saturday. I am absolutely exhausted after a week of the clean eating challenge. I woke up at 7:30 (blergh), made a fancy breakfast, went for a run, and crashed on the couch for the rest of the day.  I made quite a few alterations to the meal plan today, because I'm going out later so don't have time to stand over a stove all night! I got things to do!

Breakfast: Poached Eggs and Asparagus

Breakfast was an adventure.  Even on Saturday, cooking first thing in the morning is not my ideal way to wake up. Still, today I learned a new skill, how to poach an egg! I was surprised at how closely this resembles an actual poached egg. In the photo you can clearly see which one was the first attempt. The second egg came out pretty good!  The asparagus came out okay, it was a week old by this point, so the fact that it was still useable was a miracle

Deliciousness Level: fancy looking

Lunch: Arugula Legume Salad

This was supposed to be a kale black bean salad, but I didn't have any kale left, and have too much arugula left, so that's what I used. I also didn't bother making yet another vinaigrette and used the leftover paprika yogurt sauce for the dressing, and threw in the remaining chickpeas while I was at it. It made for a pretty delicious salad! And was a nice way to recover from this morning's run

Deliciousness Level: filling and refreshing

Snack: Almonds and Pistachios
I had a couple handfuls of pistachios and almonds for a snack before crashing on the couch and taking a rare and elusive mid-day nap. Just a sign of how tired I am, I almost never can take naps! Naps are glorious, I wish I had stronger nap taking skills.

Dinner: Meatballs and Chili

I was going to try making the collard greens to go with tonight's meatballs, but since I had gotten them a week ago, they were pretty sad and wilted and turning a strange yellow color, so I decided to nix that idea.  I also did not want to bother making tomato sauce from scratch, especially since I have so much leftover blackbean chili left over from last night. I did venture into another new food item today: meatballs. I've never made meatballs before, so I don't know what the difference between this 'clean' version vs the real thing is, but I think for my first try these came out pretty well. I used flax seed meal instead of oats, and used oregano instead of basil.  Just mixed in the ground turkey, threw 'em in the oven for 15 minutes and they came out pretty good! They definitely taste 'clean', vs the usual greasy delicious meatball. But still pretty tasty, especially with the chili.  I'll probably try these again, but with more spices next time

Deliciousness Level: a little bland, but still very tasty!


Dessert: Dark Chocolate
I'll be out pretty late tonight, so it is still to be seen whether I'll end up having this or not, but I'm going to try to be good and not splurge while I'm uptown!


I survived 7 days of the clean eating challenge! Want to follow along from the beginning? Start Here, then check out Day 1, Day 2, Day 3, Day 4, Day 5, and Day 6