Fit Trick: Stay Hydrated Using a Lime

Water. The single most important life-sustaining element on the planet.

Staying hydrated is the easiest way to get healthy and slim, but it's also the easiest thing to forget to do, especially if, like me, you're not in the habit of drinking water regularly throughout the day.

I needed a way to remember to drink water and keep track of how much I have had/have left to drink each day. There are tons of nifty apps for this that may work for someone more diligent than me, but I needed something a little less tech-y yet equally nifty enough to keep my interest every day.

They say that you need at least 8 glasses of water a day, but I don't want to have to count every ounce that I drink every day. So I started cutting up a lime into 8 pieces and dropping them in my water throughout the day. And it works! I remember to keep drinking water, and have a visual reminder of how much I have left to drink based on how many pieces I have left.

How To Use Limes to Get Your 8 Glasses a Day

(In 2 Easy Steps)

Ready for a week of hydration!

1. Cut a lime into 8 pieces.

(Protip: It's easier to cut each piece through its center,
rather than trying to make bar-style wedges)

2. Add a wedge of lime every time you fill up your water.

Store the lime pieces in a small air-tight container.

Even if you use different cups, you'll always know how many glasses you've had throughout the day by how many pieces are left. Keep adding wedges as you refill your glass until you've used up the whole lime!

3. Reap the Benefits.

You'll be amazed at how much better you feel after making this a habit. The water will help your body function better, you'll lose fat easier, and the lime helps your liver get toxins out, it's a win-win-win!

Bottoms Up!

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!!

Training day - Christmas edition

Because of the holiday, we moved training day to Monday so that I could get my session in before Christmas

Today was not a stellar day. To be honest, I felt like absolute crap today. I feel fat and blobby, and my eye was (and still is) bothering me like crazy. Just the one eye. Like either something is lodged in my contact lens that is microscopically wreaking havoc on my cornea, or there is something lodged in my sinus cavity that is wreaking havoc inside my face

Either way, not a great state to be in when heading to the gym. So it was perfect that today was training day, because if there is ever a time you need someone else there to push you, it's those days when you really wouldn't be there on your own.

We started with some great news! Jason can start training me in the evenings again, which is so great (for me)! As much as I like being able to go home earlier on Tuesday, it's just a little too much to be training during the day. 

So we started by testing my pullups, aka Jason showing me off to the rest of the guys (actually that seems to be an ever-increasing theme of our time together, hehe). I managed better than I thought I would, I did at least one by myself, and the rest with just a wee bit of a nudge. So yay me

Then we went on to the real stuff. Squats, of course. What else would I be doing on a Monday afternoon right before christmas besides dominating the squat rack and putting grown men to shame? I started with just the bar, then worked through the weights until we ran out and J had to go allllll the way to the other side of the room to get some more. And I kept squatting, ending with.....185lbs!! Woohoooo!

So we left the free weight room before my jumping and skipping around got annoying, and headed up front to the training area, where J gathered two 20lb dumbbells and the tall box. So I went through a series of:

10 clean & press and 10 box jumps

Then

10 step ups & 10 renegade rows

Then we ended with my buddy, the 25lb Kettlebell for 25 snatches, each arm. I was skeptical at first, but Jason didn't even blink, and he even let me chalk up (much to my eye's dismay), and I actually did it without tearing my hands, without wanting to die, and without complaining!!

Of course afterwards, my eye was insanely unhappy, and my hands were too chalky to do anything about it. So I spent most of the stretching time with a towel over my face, so Jason just had to guess at some of the faces I was making ;)

"Did you bring your glasses?" No, Jason. That's something a smart person would do. I'll just lie here in agony.

Merry Christmas everybody!

Thursday Workout

big things going on this week! And I swear, Jason is trying to kill me, and make sure everyone sees it happen :)

Today Jason sent me a workout that is a continuance of the "bring mayu to her knees, flailing into a tiny pile of pain" theme for this week. So many squats, preceded by so many lifts.  I am a lucky girl though, because he came by and helped coach me through the first half of the barbell portion, because he is the coolest!  And it made me feel a lot more confident especially being in the Free Weight Room (shudder) with all the big guys. But by the time I was lifting 90 pounds over my head, they would have backed off anyways!

So, here is the workout for today. I do not recommend this if you have never lifted before. (Insert television disclaimer here: do not try this unless you know what you are doing!)

Workout:
Warm-up 
Hindu squat- 50
Hindu pushup 25
Back bridge- 60sec hold
Cossack squat 20

clean and press- 60-10, 70-8, 80-5, 90-3
Kb swing- 45(blue) 3x15/15
Front squat 50-12, 70-2x8
Tuck Jump- 3x12
Plank to Pushup- 2x10
V-ups- 3x12

Training day

Today was a great day.

I have some really exciting things lined up for the (hopefully very) near future so was even more bouncy and excited than usual as I bounded into today's session.

We started at the squat rack, but before squats I had to do barbell cleans, first with just the bar, then working up to 90 lbs. 90!! I'm finding all new places to get bruises this week, my poor shoulders (good thing it's freezing outside = long sleeves)

Then we finally got to squats, and Jason had no mercy (actually come to think of it, I'm surprised I can walk as functionally as I am after today's workout....but I'm jumping ahead. Well, shuffling at this point, no more jumping today, please!) today I could really feel the weight on the last rep of each set. And the last set was at 175lbs!!! Yaaaaaaaas. I'm almost squatting 200lbs that's crazy! ('we'll hang a kettlebell around your neck' he says) hahaha, Yay me.

So we finished up that insanity and moved up front for bulgarian bag conditioning. It's been a while, but I still got the groove down, it was a suspiciously basic group of exercises: just 10 spins each direction, 10 powersnatch, 20 squats, and 20 alternating jump lunges. Nothing too crazy right? Yeah, not until the last 5 jump lunges where my legs are on FIRE and I collapse immediately after its over. Seriously. After the first set it took me a few seconds to pick myself up off the floor and get my legs to calm down.  The second set was a bit better, until I found out there was a third set. Aaarrggghhhhh As soon as I finished and dropped the bag, I was DOWN. Jason felt very proud of himself today, hahaha

We finished with stretching, where I mastered the method of 'keep talking so you don't notice the pain'

Getting ready for the new year

Well, It's almost that time of year, when the world will make the age old New Year's resolution to get in better shape.  And then most of us will promptly head to the fridge for another slice of leftover pie.

That certainly was me a few years ago, and I still have bad habits now, especially with food. I wish being healthy was easier and more rewarding sometimes. But just like anything worth having, getting in shape takes time, work, and dedication. I've learned a lot this year about what it takes to be one of those skinny girls that you hate. Dare I say, I've kinda become one of them.

Figuring out what works best for me took a lot of trial and error (mostly error), but slowly and surely I'm making progress and have picked up a few tricks along the way that make weight loss realistic and achievable, and maybe they could work for you too.

Now, mind you, I'm not talking about just getting skinny. There are plenty of easy ways to get skinny, and easy ways to die in the process. I don't condone that. If that's what you're looking for, then you're reading the wrong blog, because I don't have anything for you here. I'm talking about being healthy, and fit, but yeah I'm not gonna cry over a few lost inches along the way.

If you're just starting out on a healthy lifestyle change, or even just toying with the idea, you may be overwhelmed and confused by the sheer volume of "things you have to change RIGHT NOW to get in shape." Making a 180 degree lifestyle change isn't as simple as they make it sound on TV.  You're not only changing your behavior for yourself, but changing your identity with the people who have known you for a long time. This is not something you can do incognito. And that's what really makes it so hard.

People will notice, and people will comment. But hang in there, because the comments will change from "what are you doing, that's weird" to "you look great, how did you do it?!" And even better, seeing those people work on improving themselves too :)

Over the next few weeks I hope to have time to write up some tricks to take all those fitness tips and actually make them work in real life. There are some really simple changes that worked for me to stick to better habits and stay on track!

Fitness tip # 1: Hire a personal trainer!!!! It can be expensive. You can afford it. Yes you can.

It's not too late to ask for training money for Christmas! That what I do, for Christmas, birthdays, anytime you would normally get presents, I ask for training 'donations'. No one will question this. Trust me.  You might even get a cute little ditty to go with it!

It's Tuesday, its training day!

Today's session was kinda awesome. Ok, it was really awesome

First of all, we started with the dreaded measurements, and I actually lost weight! And some fat! (Wait, does that mean my holiday recovery soup actually worked?)

So, we're ending the year at 131lbs, 25% bodyfat, and a 28" waist. I'll take it!  now to see if i can actually be disciplined enough to get my bodyfat down even more. The short term goal is to drop another 4%, so we'll see how I do, yikes!

I wasin a really goofy mood today, which always makes the workout more fun, for me anyways. Then Jason has to stand there pretending like he doesn't know me, despite holding my clipboard and telling me what to do, hahaha. Anyways, we started the session with a quick warmup, 3 point lunges then with the 35lb kettlebell: swings, clean, and press  (10 each), you know, whatevs.

Then I had a go with a 60lb barbell for deadlifts, rows and cleans (again, 10 each). This time i had to try to do them without stopping, which was killer on grip, so its a good thing that next up was Squaaaaaaats.

So many squats. So many weights. So many observers. So many comments (You know it's a good day when another trainer is impressed!)

There's something about the squat rack that gets people's attention. Maybe because its right next to the water fountain, or that it makes loud noises sometimes, or mayyybe because a 5'1 girl is squatting. With massive weights propped across her shoulders.  Maybe that's it.  Today we quickly worked our way up to 170 pounds!!!! Whaaaaaaaat, that's crazy. I'm scared that my legs will pop off in the middle of my sleep. I may not be able to walk tomorrow. Or the next day. We'll see what happens

After an epic schooling of the squats, we ended with more kettlebells. Only problem was, the 35lb bells were occupied, so I HAD to use the 25lb bell (oh darn) so I did one set of snatch/overhead squats, and by the time I was ready for the next set the 35s were free (really, oh darn) so I finished with those

Well, really I finished with stretching. Yay stretching! Best part of my day. Also the most painful, but I guess that's why they say no pain no gain!

Tuesday training day

It's Tuesday!!! and I almost didn't make it in time, stupid work getting in the way of real life, Grrr. And as it turns out, J was in the same boat because as I came running in to change, he had to go to a meeting right when my session was about to start! Yipes! So he sent me off with instructions to warmup on the rower to 2500km, which I did in 12 minutes! Unfortunately his meeting didn't end for another 5 minutes, which left me sweaty and wandering around in circles for a bit.  But eventually he broke free and we got straight to work. I've always wondered what half-hour sessions were like since no one seems to do them, and today I found out the real reason why: they are INTENSE. Not like non-stop crossfit ninja warrior intense, but it felt like we basically did the same amount of lifting, in half the amount of time, and my body felt it (in a good way, not in an injury way, that would be bad)

We started at the squat rack, which is quickly becoming my favorite little contraption (much more so than the pull-up bar ever was). Today was kind of a combination of all the previous squats sessions, where I progressed up the weights, but maintained more reps while doing so, going from 15 body weight squats and ending with 6 155lb squats (one hundred and fifty five!!! I can squat myself and a medium-sized dog, crazy!)

After blowing the squat rack out of the water, we moved on to kettlebells, progressing with working two bells at once. With two 25lbs, I did a non-stop set of 10 swings, cleans, squats, and press. And ohhhhhhh mannnnnnn I didn't think I was gonna make it through the last set. But somehow, finally, I was down to the last three presses, and then it was done. just in time for J to bring over the red 50lb bell, for one arm swings. And I pretended to be fine with this concept. No I didn't, I was whining like usual, but J is impervious to my wiles and made me do them anyways

Then it was back up front with just enough time for....stretching I hope? No, silly! Time for the big ropes. Oh my arms. Oh my legs. Oh my. Alternating ropes (argh) and double ropes (slightly less argh) and then I was DONE. No mas. Finito. C'est tout.

All I had left in me was enough pain tolerance for stretching, in which I think my spine was hosting a competition for which vertebrae could crack the loudest.

Holiday Recovery Soup

Well, Thanksgiving is over, the damage is done. We all ate more than we said we would (and I already said that I'd eat a LOT), and now the inevitable blob of belly fat is starting to congeal and set up shop around your waist.  The week of glorious binge eating is officially over, and now begins the month of undoing all that damage (just in time for the Christmas feast, oof).

If you've never done meal-prep before, right now is a great time to start. Basically you plan out every meal and snack that you will eat for the week, and then you don't have to think about it! And if you are like me and hate cooking, plan out meals that you can make in big batches, all at once, then portion it out for the rest of the week.

I haven't been prepping much lately, and it shows. My best months are the ones where I just take a few extra hours of effort to plan out my food for the week, and stick to it.

For this upcoming week, I have an overly-simplified plan to combat all the pies I ate in the last four days. 

Seriously, so much pie. Soooooo much.

For lunches, I cooked 2 cups of quinoa and divvied up the yield into old 8 ounce yogurt containers. I also baked 4 chicken breasts and divided them into 5 servings - about 3 ounces each - and topped off the containers with broccoli 

Not too shabby!

Before making those, I had started a big pot of veggie soup stewing to have for dinner this week. The best thing about making soup is that you can really just throw in whatever you want and however much of it you want, and it'll probably taste great. There are many variations of this type of soup all over the Internet, but this is what I made, and it came out pretty good. I'll call it:

Holiday Recovery Soup:

Ingredients:

5 medium sized carrots

2 bunches of celery

1 cup diced shallot, onion and garlic

1 can garbanzo beans

1 can black beans

8 cups liquid (i used 4 cups veggie stock and 4 cups water)

Bag of kale

Seasonings (about a teaspoon each):

Olive oil

Salt

Pepper

Garlic powder

Paprika

Ginger powder

Brown mustard seeds

Prep the ingredients:

-Finely chop the onions, shallots and garlic together (or buy them pre-chopped like I did)

-chop carrots and celery

-combine dry seasonings in a small bowl

-rinse and drain garbanzo and black beans in a colander

Make the soup:

In a large pot, heat olive oil over medium-low heat. Sautée the  onions, shallots, and garlic for about 5 minutes, then add the dry seasoning and sautée for another minute. Stir in the carrots and celery and cook over medium heat for about 3 minutes. Add the garbanzo and black beans and 8 cups of liquid. Bring the soup to a low boil, then simmer covered over low heat for at least an hour.  After that, rinse the kale (removing any stems) and stir into the soup, simmering for an additional 20 minutes. Then enjoy!  As with all soups, the longer you let it sit, the better it will taste

By the time you're done, it should look a little something like this:

Turkey day training day

It's kickoff week of the holiday season, starting with the best holiday of them all!

So before I embark on my week-long hiatus from training (to be gloriously swapped with a week of shameless face-stuffing) I had to get in my training session for a preemptive strike to avoid turning into a blimp by the weekend

And J was ready for me. Quick warmup of walking lunge/inchworms, then off to find the 25lb kettlebells.

Today was actually really challenging (I mean, EVERY thing is challenging...yeah). We did a bunch of stuff with two bells at once.  just like regular kettlebell workouts, but with two at a time. So even though each arm is doing the same weight as it normaly would, it's essentially twice as much work. And my arms could feel it

We started with 10 each (3times): swings, cleans, press/jerks, and front squats. And man oh man I was not into it (By that i mean, mentally I was all for it. physically, not so much). And that's where J comes in, to talk me through it, especially for the next set

I only had to do this set one time, and one time was plenty, first with 2 bells, 20 jerks. I don't think I would have finished this if J wasn't there to pace me. Then 15 snatches on each arm, and I actually felt really great for the whole time! J thinks I could have done 20 each, but I think 15 was an excellent amount, haha. We ended our Kettlebell set with 15 long cycle (back to the 2 bells). And I surprisingly made it all the way with my arms still attached! It's a good day.

So, to give my arms a break we headed over to the squat rack. For squats. Obviously. As per usual we worked our way up through the weights, doing less reps for more weight. When you are dealing with the scenario of being a tiny girl squatting a massive amount of weight, be prepared for a few things to happen. First, men will be staring at you. Not for the usual reasons (maybe a little for the usual reasons), but out of sheer disbelief and amazement. Second, your trainer will have to tell you to walk the bar back further, to get behind a specific point on the rack because the circumference of the weight is SO LARGE, it won't clear past the weight holders. The weights are too big for the contraption designed to hold the weights, people!!! No wonder people are staring!

So when all was said and done, I was squatting the massive weights to the grand total of 160 pounds. One hundred and SIXTY pounds. I'd be staring at myself too, that's crazytalk.

So we leave the freeweight room in a blaze of glory, end with some jumps and stretch and then it was time for a special treat: I brought my pumpkin pie!! Actually I made both versions, the healthy one and the vegan healthy one (that one turned out more like banana-pumpkin pie, but it was still good)

And now I'm off to go gorge myself on Korean food for the next four days. Don't judge me.

It's training day!

It's training day already! The silver lining of having to push a session to a later day in the week is that the next week's session gets here so much sooner!

We started today with a very serious discussion about Movember, and the ideal amount of stubble for a guy to have (10 days in case you are wondering, it's science), but Jason was having none of it. "What about Decembeard?" I ask. ...  I've never seen a more perfectly incredulous look than the one he gave me at that moment. It was textbook. Then he tried to pawn me off to another trainer, and I was having none of THAT, thankyouverymuch.

So we moseyed over to the freeweight room, but actually no, we took a detour and J herded me into the workout area, while he gathered up the various weights we needed to begin.

New thing today! Barbell clean and Jerks! Yikes! We used a bare bar to do a few practice rounds so that I could practice the movements before trying the real deal. Basically the concept merges all of the various elements that I've learned between Kettlebell jerks and the front squats from last week.  You start with the bar at your feet, then hoist it up through adeadlift  into a clean, so that it ends up racked across the front of your shoulders, hands out, elbows up high and pointing in (yeah, that awkwardness from last week, same thing) Then, jerk the bar overhead, and bring it back down to the ground (controlled though, not like how I do it, hurling towards gravity).  I did the first round (2 sets of 5) with 60lbs and the second round with 80lbs (2 sets of 4).  and by the end I was making significantly less faces of shock and horror, so i think I did pretty well. high fives all around!

then we went IN the freeweight room for squats. but today was a little different (gotta keep it interesting!) instead of the usual 'let's see how much we can slap on here to make mayu's legs break' today was more of a 'let's see how many mayu can do before her legs break', so in total I did 3 sets of 8, starting at 90lbs and ending at 115 (I think). Still, nothing to sneeze at! J already has next week planned out with heavier weight.

Then it was time for J to finish me off with a few rounds on the Kettlebell, the 35lb bell to be exact, so we made our way back up front to do just 3 rounds of clean & squats followed by snatch. And that definitely got me fatigued. Not too much, but just enough to get me to start whining about my gimpy hand callous that hates me.

But by then it was time for V-ups to finish the day, 2 sets of 15. you know, whatevs. Whenever I have to do v-ups I still think of my first training session when I couldn't even do one! And now I can do so many! Progress!

It's training time!

It's that day again, you know that day! It's training day!! Hooray!

So I sneak out of work in the middle of the day, an hour later than usual and changed and even manage to be early for once! But where's j? He's not at the desk, he's not on the floor, and I awkwardly wimper around while the other trainers say 'he was here earlier' and 'does he know you have a session?' And yes he was very specific 'Thursday at 2' ...wait today is Thursday, right? Maybe I have the wrong day, what time is it? Where am I? Who am I?

'Maybe he sent you a message' yeah, I bet as soon as I go I to the locker room to check he'll show up and think that I'm not here! But of course, they were right when I fish my phone out from the bottom of my bag I see this:

Aw, he didn't forget!

So off to the rower I go, and row FOREVER*, until finally J turned the corner and came to gather me up

(*forever = 5 minutes in this scenario)

So many new things today! we started in the 'big boy' room to do deadlifts and front squats, but with the big bar instead of kettlebells like I'm used to doing. First the deadlifts. J has all kinds of handy pieces of knowledge, like how to hold the bar so that your grip doesn't get tired. brilliant! I had to stop myself from squatting so much, but like with all new things eventually I got the hang of it. And like all the usual things, J kept adding more and more weights and I ultimately did a set with 135lbs! I can deadlift myself! Myself and a small fluffy kitten, rawr

Then squats, but holding the bar in front, resting 'on your shoulders, NOT your throat'. very important. In order to do this you have to rest the bar across your shoulders, cradled on your hands (palms facing out) and your elbows lifted up high kind of pointing in towards each other. Sounds awkward, looks awkward, feels awkward. Now squat. Without choking yourself or tilting the weights off the bar. And add more weights. And repeat. 

But I survived, clavicle intact, and we wrapped it up in the free weight room and headed up front.

Then it was time for box jumps (squat, jump, land, squat, stand up, step down, repeat) and jerks with the 35lb Kettlebell. I don't do jerks often, and it's kind of J's area of expertise, so he tried to get me to do them correctly, but I still just don't 'get' them. Although by the last set I could start to feel a difference, and he seemed a bit more pleased with a few of them. Progress! At least they make me look skinny, unlike what I had next: V-ups. And backbridge pushups. 

Then it was stretching time! And oy, I need yoga. Badly. So much stretching needed. so so much. (My 3 days in a row of stair master probably didn't help)

I didn't take a selfie today, but here's one from earlier this week:

Sweaty. (and if you look closely, you'll see the evidence of that time I got my nails done! I can be a girly girl sometimes too, it's not all nerd with this one ::points thumbs at self::)

Tuesday day! It's training day!!

It's Tuesday, it's training day! And today we had a special treat, I had TWO trainers today! Well, kinda. There's a new trainer at the gym, and J had him tag along during my session. Which means I got to have two trainers, AND J had to narrate what we were doing and say all the nicest things about me (and show me off) and how fantastic I am and how I'm the perfect client and so strong and always bubbly and does everything amazing...hey I'm just awesome okay? Deal with it!

But first he also had to show the new guy how to take measurements. D'oh. I've been trying, TRYING to be good, and it's so so difficult. But even with as good/bad as I've been (and technically I didn't get any bigger or gain any weight) I'm still on the upswing of body fat. Boo. So this month I'm starting out at I think 28" waist, 134.5 lbs and 27% bodyfat. :( sadface. 

So, with that over with, and this month's calendar all set (whoo!), we got to the fun stuff. Specifically, we started with squats.

Workout:

Squat rack. As per usual, we started light, and with each set decreased the reps and increased the weight. And the most fun part was that with the new guy there, I had two people racking the weights for me, because i'm so special, hahahaha. I know by one of the middle sets we were at around 150lbs. Maybe more. But we ended the last set with more reps but a much lighter weight. And a high five. Oh yeah! And between sets I was doing reverse lunges while the guys added plates to the bar. Which J had to keep reminding me to do

Then it was back up front for an equally fun and impressive round of:

Red bell swings, 17.5lb dumbbell alternating overhead press (so fast!), renegade row, and tuck jumps (ah, he knows me so well)

 

And the new guy was duly impressed with my form. And said so multiple times. To which I gave Jason a well-deserved pat on the back. Hah

For abs I did a series of v-ups, front and each side. And I reminisced about that first session, so long ago, when my first attempt at a v-up (which I had never even heard of before) got me about an inch off the floor and nowhere near reaching my toes. And J was looking over those first workouts, back when I was swinging 25lbs (vs the, what, 55 lbs today?) and using the 12.5lb dumbbells, which I can't even recall the last time I used those! They sound so cute to me now! Haha

Then we sent off the new guy to write down notes or something (can't wait to bug J to tell me what he said) and stretched, my most favorite part!

And then I had to go back to work. My least favorite part.

SHAMELESS SELFIE:

Tuesday workout

Work has been ridiculous. So I had to postpone training day AND do my own workout much later than usual. So this is what I came up with:

Walkout pushup -10

3pt lunge -6/6

Forearm plank - 30seconds

2x

Workout

Tuck jump -15

Swings 45lb kb - 10/10

Goblet squat 35lb kb -12

Pistol squat -10/10

3x

Vups -20

Bicycle crunch -10/10

Side Plank drop & reach through -10/10

Enough to work up a good sweat, but not too strenuous for a tired little body.

Pumpkin Pie, Part Deux (Now Dairy-free!)

After the overwhelming success (and growing Pinterest popularity) of my first experiment at making a healthy and easy pumking pie (recipe HERE), I was still not completely satisfied with the recipe despite how amazing and delicious it came out. But, how? one might ask.  That recipe is so easy, and delicious and generally perfect all around. What could possibly be done to make a pie any more perfect and amazing than that piece of culinary perfection?

I mean, the original pie had so much going for it. It was:
-5 ingredients
-Crustless
-Eggless
-Flourless
-Gluten Free
-Easy
-Delicious

So what's the problem?

Well for starters, one of the things that bothered me about the old recipe is that while it alleges to be an easy five-ingredients-that-you-already-have kind of deal, it is very likely that the average person doesn't just happen to have ground flax seeds hanging around their pantry (such as my year-ago self).  I mean, it's also likely that the average person doesn't have cans of pumkin puree either, but it's much easier to buy a can of something that is used immediately than a whole bag of seeds that only needs a few scoops.  So there was the first problem.

Another thing that bothered me was that the old recipe claimed to be "clean", yet still used processed ingredients, like greek yogurt. I mean, it's just yogurt, but still. Not as clean as it COULD be.  Also, because of the yogurt, it eliminated being eligible for a huge category: Dairy-free.  And we don't want people feeling left out. People don't like feeling left out.

So I mulled, and ruminated, and pondered, and came up with a new and improved super easy, super clean, super normal pumpkie pie, that will definitely keep you (and me) on track to being super fit.  With a few adjustments, and a little bit less laziness, I've created a masterpiece that I am proud to proclaim is truly a clean and easy pumpkin pie.  and now it has even more going for it.

This new pie is:
-(still!) 5 ingredients (and you definitely already have these ingredients, or will be willing to acquire all of them)
-gluten free
-dairy free!
-eggless
-flourless
-crustless
-clean
-simple
-easy
-delicious. so delicious

I will call this:

"Super-Duper Clean and Easy Pumpkin Pie"

To make this magical pie, you will need 5 things:

1 cup raw almonds*
2 very ripe bananas
1 can Pumpkin Puree (not pumpkin pie mix)
1/2 cup Honey
2 tsp Pumpkin Pie Spice

*You'll also need a blender. And some patience.

A few days before you are ready to make this pie, soak the almonds in water for 2-3 days in the refrigerator and remove the skin (the skin will pop right off after soaking). Wait patiently. Think pumpkin thoughts.

When you are ready to make the pie, Preheat the oven to 425.

Rinse the almonds and put them in a blender. Add water to cover the almonds by an inch or so (I just filled it to the "2 cup" line). Blend for 3-4 minutes until it is smooth and milky (basically you just made almond milk, congratulations!)  Add the bananas and blend until it is fully liquified.

While your almond banana milk is making itself, mix the Pumpkin, Honey, and Pumpkin Pie Spice together in a large bowl.  Add the almond mixture to the bowl and stir everything together.

Pour the pie into a baking dish (the one in the pictures is an 8x6x2" pyrex) and bake at 425 for 15 minutes, then lower the oven temperature to 350 and continue baking for about 1 hour.  Turn off the oven and let it cool IN the oven for at least 20 minutes before taking it out.  When the pie cools to room temperature, put it in your mouth in the refrigerator overnight to set.

See how easy that was? (In theory, you could just dump all of the ingredients into the blender and make this an "insanely super duper easy" pie, but I am not that adventurous. If I ever win the lottery and get a Ninja blender, this will be the first thing that I try.)

Here, try a bite. A delicious, guilt-free bite

Thursday training day!

It's Thursday, but it's training day?! Yep, J couldn't train on Tuesday (but did send me a killer workout anyways) and I had cardio yesterday, so we trained today. It actually worked out well since work has been crazier and more unbearable than usual and today was the first day this week that I could sneak away at lunch time.

Super-duper excited as always, and J was ready with a whole plan of what to make me do today. We started with the stretchy-tubey handled thing, where you hold onto the handles and pull your arms open from various angles (chest expander is what it's really called, not that I need help in that department ....zing!) I think there were four parts of that warmup, starting with arms held out front, then overhead, then behind the back, then archery style. You know I had to get my katniss everdeen on (fun fact, we did archery briefly in high school gym class and I'm actually really good at it)

After my shoulders were burning, I mean warmed up, we went over to the free weight room (shudder....actually it's not so bad during the day) to the squat rack. Now, if you recall the last time we saw the squat rack, J very cunningly kept adding more weight until I was basically squatting my own body weight. So today we did pretty much the same concept, where he just kept adding weights after each set, and I didn't ask any questions. By the last set I was only doing 3 reps, but maybe that had something to do with the fact that I was squatting ONE FIFTY. 150lbs! More than my body weight and then some! Basically was squatting myself and a small dog. Beasty. J was disappointed that my legs were fine after this. Hah

So we went back up front to play with the bulgarian bag and the blue bell of doom. Spins, swings and box jumps, while I gushed over the popularity of my super awesome pumpkin pie creation and all the attention it's getting on Pinterest (yay!)  Then, uh I think it was clean and press with the black bell and alternating jumpy things on the box. Oh and a couple new moves with the bulgarian bag, one was kind of like a lumberjack snatch, where instead of snatching straight up facing forward, you pivot from side to side (so, start with the bag to the right, ten snatch it at you turn facing left, and vice versa) and the last new move was like spins but you stop the bag overhead, then finish the circle, stopping the bag overhead each time). Oh!! And I just remembered, there was a jumprope in there too, I must have blocked that from memory earlier, hah

Then it was time to stretch, and oh em gee today was painful. For some reason my hamstrings are super sore and tight this week, and stretching is just pure agony. But so necessary. So so necessary

Workout - LEGS day

Apparently it is definitely legs day, and J sent me a workout before I even had a chance to ask! He's the best!!  I kinda had a feeling it would be legs day, since we did so much arms on Tuesday. Not on purpose, it's just that my legs are so lazy and are more than happy to let my arms do all the work, about which I constantly verbally berate them...out loud...in public...with gestures. And Tuesday was no exception. So I knew that their time was up, and this is what J sent me:

Warm up

Hindu pushup 20

Hindu Squats 40

Back Bridge- 45sec hold

2x

Workout

Man Maker 2x17.5 10 reps

Jump squat 2x30 15reps

2 hand swing to Squat 16kg 12 reps

3pt lunge 2x17.5 8/8 reps

Tuck Jump 15 reps

3x

Abs

Swivel 20 reps

V-ups- 20 reps

Bicycle crunch 20 reps

Superman 20 reps

3x

This nearly killed me, but I've definitely had it worse :) felt really good to lift with the big boys again, haha. I gathered all the weights I needed and I think maybe some of the guys there had to choose bigger weights than what they were going to use, mwahahahaaaa

Training day!! During the day!

Well, today was the first day of training on the new schedule. Sneaking out of the office in the middle of the day to go to the gym is a nice change of pace, and now I have a new challenge to work on called 'getting in and out of the locker room showered, hair dried and fully clothed within 20 minutes.' I've done it before, but i did not do it today. Protip-the hairdrying step takes FOREVER. hashtag girlproblems. Ugh.

I'm still a little apprehensive over daytime training, mostly I was worried that maybe I wouldn't have enough energy right before lunch, or that I'd get swamped by work and miss the session, or that I'd be distracted during the session about everything I still have to do at work, or that I'd have to pee in the middle of the session (that part did happen, actually)

But I'd rather train at a weird time of day than not train at all! And as an extra bonus, I saw an old yoga buddy there today so that was a fun surprise. AND, training at weird times means the gym is practically empty, so there is so much space! Whoo!

So we got right into it, the measurements that is. D'oh!  But actually I didn't do so bad this month, not so great, but at least in the right direction. I'm still around 134, but my body fat dropped a teensy tiny bit to 25%, hooray! And J wrote up my calendar, so I don't have to make up my own workouts anymore, huzzah!

THEN we got into it, starting with walking warmup, then J had some funky little stretchy tubes attached to handles that I had to stretch in various directions until my shoulders wanted to pop off, then just some swings with the bruiser bell (that's 35lbs for you technical folks)

Then we had swing/snatches, with the 35lbs where I really need to wok on my stupid grip, Grrr. It's like I tighten up in all the places that you're supposed to do the opposite. So for the last set of those, J have me a lighter bell and it almost flew away it felt so light! haha (yet again, there is a method to his madness, sneaky bastard)

There were box jumps in there as well. I like those, I'm good at those.

Ummm I don't remember exactly everything else we did (one of the downsides of training in the middle of the day--increased lag time before I get a chance to write it down) but I know at one point J brought over the BIG red bell, I think it's around 75lbs? Is that right? I dunno, it's big, and red, and super duper heavy. So I swing that a bunch while focusing on not tipping over and also making my legs do the work (and trying not to put the poor guy next to me to shame while I out awesome him on every level, just how J likes it). And then I think we ended with two 25lb free weights, with clean and front squats. And then streeeetching where I distracted myself by interrogating J about how his new job is going!  And learned that while I make funny faces when I stretch (that I already knew), that apparently I also make funny hands, and it makes J laugh. And all this time I thought he was just laughing at my pain

Lazy Pumpkin Pie - Clean Eating recipe

(tldr: I made a pie. It is easy and delicious. The recipe is below, with pictures.)

I love baking. I love being in shape. My loves hate each other.

I've always been a decent baker, and when I was a kid I had no problem whipping together cakes, brownies, muffins, cookies, cupcakes, whatever...from scratch....for no reason (my brother certainly reaped the benefits). I just like baking, and it's so yummy! But now I can't really justify making cakes and brownies on a whim anymore since it's basically just pounds of butter and sugar, that I inevitably have to eat. Myself. All of it. Immediately. Usually facing the corner in a grownup time-out of shame.

So, I have to forego my baking prowess for the greater good of staying healthy.  Boo. But having to avoid traditional ingredients has resulted in broadened  horizons and I've been having fun experimenting with 'clean' recipes. I've actually produced a few great successes (with a few duds as well) but we like to focus on the positive. 

Now that it's autumn, it seems the pumpkin patches have EXPLODED because you can't turn a corner without seeing something pumpkin flavored. And I have totally fallen for it. I've been CRAVING pumpkin, pumpkin anything. If you can put pumpkin in it, I want that thing. All the things 

So here is the recipe I came up with for clean pumpkin pie that fills my need to bake things, and consume pumpkins, but also complements my need to eat clean (bonus, I'm really lazy and this recipe is great for that too). I suppose if you really break it down, this pie (I assume it's still a pie, I'm not much of a pie connoisseur, so I don't know if there is some criteria that this does or does not meet to make it into the category, but as far as my tummy is concerned, this is a pie). uh, what was I saying. Oh yeah, this pie fits all kinds of cool categories that are important to people:

-it's super easy to make

-there are only five ingredients

-you have all the ingredients (and if you don't, you're just one quick trip to trader joe's away from having everything you'll need)

-it's gluten free

-it's flour-less

-it's eggless

-it's crust less

-it's low fat

-it's yummy

-it's super easy to make (did I say that already? Because it seriously is. I could make another one before I finish writing up this post. Seriously. The hardest part is waiting for the pie to cool. SO difficult)

Anyways, blah blah blah, here is the recipe I came up with:

Lazy (gluten-free, crustless, eggless, clean, five ingredient) Pumpkin Pie

(update! If you need a dairy-free version, Check this out!)

You'll need 5 ingredients:

3 tbsp flax seed meal soaked in 9 tbsp hot water*

1 can (15 oz) pumpkin purée

1/2 cup honey

2 tsp pumpkin pie spice

2 containers (150g each) non-fat Honey Greek yogurt

* the flax seeds are a substitute for 3 egg whites which I didn't have nor have tried.

Instructions:

Preheat oven to 425 

Before you do anything, soak the flax seeds in hot water and let sit.  Meanwhile combine the remaining ingredients in a large bowl. Add the flax seeds last when they have cooled a bit to the consistency of egg whites, and mix everything until it's smooth.

Line a baking dish with parchment paper, pour in pumpkin mixture.

Bake at 425 for 15 minutes, then lower the temperature to 350, and bake for another 60 minutes.

Turn off oven, but LEAVE THE PIE INSIDE and allow to cool (inside the oven). When cooled completely, store in the refrigerator.

Look at that beauty. It's like happiness you can scoop with a spoon.

Look ma, no trainer!

This week I had to go it alone because J is so busy with his fancy new Fitness Manager title, so I had to see if I can do this by myself (and got a good preview of what life will be like when I tragically run out of training sessions)

I've basically just been picking bits from all the old workouts I've collected over the year, with cardio thrown in between. Today I was already feeling sore from my previous workout, especially in my hamstrings and shoulders, so what better way to recover than workout harder? (Actually, I've noticed that it does help when you're a little sore to workout again. I mean I'm not a doctor, but I know things)

They say that working out with friends is easier than going alone, and without J around to help me this week, I had to call on my old buddies to keep me company. Have I introduced you yet?? Here they are:

My three amigos. On the left is "my buddy" aka orange (aka 25lbs), in the middle is "the bruiser" aka 16kg (aka 35 lbs) and on the right is the infamous "blue bell of doom" aka the 45lb bell, aka the one that broke me. (we've made up since then)

And yes I hoarded them all for myself. Not that anyone needed them, no one else used them the rest of the night! Guess the guys were too intimidated to try after seeing what I can do with them (oh goodness, J has created a little monster)

Today's workout was a doozy. And I chose it. And I'm crazy. I don't think I'll be able to move this weekend. 

Warmup

Walkout pushups 10

Three point lunge 6/6

Forearm Plank 30 seconds

2x

Workout

25lb kb snatch 8/8 (then 10/10, last set 8/8 with 35lb)

35lb kb:

Clean & press 8/8

Clean to squats 8/8

45lb blue bell:

one hand swings 10/10

Straight into 2 hand clean and squat 10

3x

turkish getup 25lb bell 5/5

Abs

Vups 15

Bicycles 20

Side vups 15/15

And i'm dead.  I showed this to J as he was leaving and he says "you don't need me anymore!" ....well yeah, but, but.

::whimper::

For an extra treat, I got a bonus round of yoga since my friend was subbing the class tonight! I'm definitely rusty (and was already pretty beat up by the kettlebells), but it was so good to take a break from strength training to focus on stretching and balance.

I think the sauna will be quite necessary tomorrow. 

Smorgasblurgh

For someone desperately trying to get (and even harder, STAY) in shape, living in New York is the worst. Your options for food are either an amazingly disgusting but indispensably cheap greasy Chinese takeout, or spend your annual salary on one trip to Whole Foods. Thank goodness Trader Joe's is there to bridge that precarious gap.

Yet one of the most amazing things about living in the city, and simultaneously the worst for fatties, is the limitless plethora of available cuisines from any area of the world you can think of, if you know where to go.

And every summer, the best of new york's diverse culinary offerings conveniently congregate in brooklyn for the eagerly anticipated and aptly named ultimate foodie paradise: Smorgasburg.

The ultimate cheat day. As challenging as it is to stay on track and eat clean in this city, you still need to cave in and allow yourself the occasional no holds barred day of expressing you inner fat-girl. If you're going to overindulge, you need to do it in convenient, hand-held, bite-sized, style.

Nonstop eating of every kind of food you can possibly imagine in one afternoon is generally frowned upon, until you condense it to the confines of an abandoned lot overlooking the manhattan skyline. Concepts like 'calorie-counting' and 'portion-control' have no place here. Self-control is a long forgotten figment of your imagination. And who am I to rock that boat?

I tried to stick to a diverse-yet-coordinating selection, and that very quickly turned into a feast of 'meat on/in a roll' and it was GLORIOUS

You're looking at spring rolls from Lumpia Shack, lobster roll from RedHook Lobster, and a kimchi-dog from Asia Dog. KIMCHI.DOG.

Wait, wait wait, i dont think you saw that lobster roll close enough

LOOK AT IT! Yes it was as amazing as it looks. Be jealous.

The whole day is such a haze, I don't remember what else I manage to shovel into my gluttonous gullet before ending with a vegan pumpkin ice cream sandwich from Alchemy Creamery

It's vegan, so that makes it health food, right?

All in all it was an epic cheat day, and worth every decadent bite. We walked it off by meandering over to Dumbo for coffees. So that probably burned it all off, right? Yeah, that's how it works, sure

Training day!

October 1, 2013:

Training day, training day! Tuesday means it's training day!!!

And J has some awesome news, he got promoted!!! Which means he has to cut way back on training and drop a lot of clients, BUT he's keeping me since I'm only once a week, yay! (And we all know its really because I'm super cool)

So we start with walking warmup, a little hazardous today because the gym was weirdly packed. And people are morons who don't move out of the way despite having a good eight feet open in front of them. Regardless, I navigated my way back and forth across the floor, narrowly avoiding being smacked in the head each way. and then J throws in a curveball, in the form of a hundred swings with the 35lb bell, one arm, 25 swings each set. And my legs are DEFINITELY warmed up after that. And I still have Sumo Godzilla band stomps to do.

Sufficiently warm, we move on to the workout, with my old buddy the bulgarian bag. Spins, snatch, and snatch with the 25lb bell (the last set changed to 35lbs). J coached me through my form and by the end I actually think I got it! Many high fives were had by all :)

Then, with the bag racked, reverse lunge with twists, then single leg row, initially with the 25lbs, and then J sneakily switched it to 35 lbs, which I almost didn't notice until right before I picked it up, like 'hm, this seems bigger for some reason'

We ended with clean & press, still with the 35lbs, and man oh man my left side really sucks, and I was super tired by that point. But I really got it on my right side, and J always knows how to get me to do stuff that gets other people's attention. Ended with overhead squats, and then an agonizing stretch. Agonizing in a good way. Good pain. I need yoga back in my life. Oy.

Training day - rain check

So, since J was at a baseball game yesterday, we switched my session to Thursday. Then I got a text from him that really we were training today. Yipes! Fortunately my routine is always at the same time so I can switch anything around if necessary (case in point) so I'll just do today's cardio tomorrow so that I can train yesterday's session today. You follow?

So we start with walking warmup, lunge lateral lunge and what the hay, inchworm too. Then Godzilla sumo smash with two (two!) different resistance bands. And that's just the warmup

Then it was time for the bulgarian bag. Just spins, snatches and overhead squats, no biggie, oh except also big ropes after that, like in the biggest loser, those ropes.

After that set, still with the bag but now also with the 35lb bell, I did 20 squats (bag) and 8 clean & press (bell) - this was probably the toughest part of the session, lifting like that is no joke!

Then we eased it up  a bit, with the squishy medicine ball, a few rounds of throwing it sideways into the wall, and then we got crazy and threw it backwards behind the head into the wall. Actually I got the hang if that one really quickly and had the rhythm down where the ball was rolling right back to me, I didn't even need J there! (Just kidding I always need J there) 

Then, since I just did abs yesterday, we eased it up and did just a few Turkish getups with the light bell

And glorious stretching, starting on my belly this time, because now I'm a contortionist apparently. J must be getting bored with his usual arsenal of torture holds, he's starting to experiment with new moves!

Training day

Training day again!!

And it's Boxing Day! With much anticipation and possibly equal amounts of trepidation I came ready to get my hands pounded today!

First jumprope though, two minutes and I still tripped a few times (and I'm pretty sure it was longer than just 2 minutes)

Then J wrapped up my hands and got the comically big gloves on my little stumps, they practically went up to my elbows, haha

We boxed for about half the session where I bubbled around and tried to get some good hits in there (tried), but I'm still too bouncy and wobble around too much when trying to punch. And then my hands start screaming at me, righty was especially bad today. So J had mercy on me and cut it short (he also didn't time the rounds out either, so it was more fun for me)

After boxing and my hands were released from being trapped in the padded cage of wrapping, we did a few sets with the Kettlebell (35 pounder): swings, clean and press and front squats. And man that last set was a struggle!

Then ended with vups and backbridge pushups with just enough time to stretch. I really really need to get yoga back in my life!!!

Training day!

It's Tuesday! It's training day! I get so excited for training day, I start bouncing by the time I get to the trainers' desk. And it makes all the other trainers jealous that they can't have a client as awesome as me ;-D

It was weirdly empty today, so we got the whole spread of the gym, I didn't even have to watch where I was going for the dynamic warmup, because there was no one to bump into!

While I was covering serious ground warming up (walking lunge, lateral lunge and inchworm) J was gathering every possible contraption he could find. Literally. The only thing we DIDN'T do today was the bulgarian bag. And we totally could have, if we had really wanted to. But no bag today. Instead, he had gathered the big squishy medicine ball, the dense yellow medicine ball, 17.5lb dumbbells, the black Kettlebell, the blue Kettlebell AND the red Kettlebell (35, 45, and I guess 55? Respectively) he also brought over the rollie abs wheel of shame, just in case.

So we start with the big squishy ball, and I attempt to toss it up to the ceiling. Then throw it sideways against the wall. As with every new thing I do, I feel (and probably look) completely ridiculous the first few tries, but by the end I got the hang of it.

Then the next set: wiith the dumbells, renegade row, jump up, clean and squat. and repeat. if ever, for some twisted reason, you need to make your shoulders feel like they are lit ON FIRE, do those. it will get you there. immediately after the half manmakers, we take the yellowball (I think it's 40lbs, but don't quote me on that) and throw it as far as possible for a few yards. Then over the shoulders. So so many times.

Done with the balls, onto the bells. Swings, going progressively heavier. I noticed quite a few things during this portion of the session. first, there was a kid wandering around wearing a Bowdoin shirt... ! ... Hey! Bowdoin! I went there! (I didnt see him after my workout, but I'm sure we'll cross paths eventually, also I need to get more bowdoin gear to wear at the gym)

The next thing I noticed was that on the left arm of swings, something was going on inside my shoulder. Not pain, not even anything that noticeable, but SOMEthing. Like a teeny tiny clicking over the back of my shoulder. I say as much to Jason, and he calmly goes to get a towel, comes back and puts me in a submission hold of pressure point agony. It's cool, I didn't really need that shoulder anyways. My tui-na lady could get a run for her money next to this guy. He should start up a side job moonlighting as a massage therapist, because that is some DEEP tissue stuff. If you ever need your tendons manually relocated to other areas, I think he could make that happen.

Eventually he let go, graciously leaving my arms still attached to my body, so that I was able to finish the rest of the swings.  Then just a few rounds of snatches with the 35lb bell. I didn't tear anything, got an extra arm 'massage' before the last set. and by massage, I mean I no longer had primary control of my forearm (i think the whole gym could hear me yipping in pain. But in a good way. Oxymoron pain)

Finally time for stretching. Notice we didn't have time for the rolly-polly abs wheel of torture....that just means I'll be making up for it on Thursday

5 Stages of (weight) Loss

So, it's been over a year since I've decided to get into shape and healthy and all that stuff those fitness people keep talking about. I've learned so much this year and accomplished things I never thought possible....I even lost (a little) weight!

But I'm still not nearly close to where I want to be. And even what I've accomplished so far was not without a lot of work and a lot of struggle. This might not be what you want to hear, but losing weight -even just a little bit- is really really hard.

The first step is to decide that you want to do it. That's easy. You do that every day. The next step is to actually do it, and that is a whole different story. Actually, the first month of getting in shape is super easy, everything is new, it's exciting and interesting.

It's easy to do anything for a few weeks. You start to see results, you feel good about yourself, and you spend every second obsessing about your new healthy routine.

Then eventually the realization hits - I have to do this for the rest of my life. And life is not so accommodating.  Life is unpredictable, plans change, things spiral out of control, and the next thing you know, you're curled up in sweatpants on the couch at 2am halfway through a chocolate bar with no intention to stop until the evidence is destroyed. 

There are all kinds of things you can physically do to lose weight, things you already know (if you don't know, I'll make it easy for you: hire a trainer. If I can afford it, you definitely can. And it will be the best decision you've ever made). However, exercise is just like the tip of the iceburg: it's the easiest thing to see, but it's only about 10% of the story. The REAL work is the other 90%...your diet.

The thing is, diets don't work. You won't make it more than a month, if you even make it to the end of the week. To really REALLY lose weight, you have to change your entire lifestyle.  You'll be giving up everything you've ever known -the very things that bring you comfort- and moving into a world that it scary, confusing and overwhelming.  If you're like me (and normal people everywhere), food is a constant battle between eating what I want or eating what I should. And in order to get fit, I can't eat what I want. And that's a harsh pill to swallow.

During this process, I realized that what is actually happening (and why it is SO much harder than i thought it would be) is that I am grieving.

I'm literally moving through the 5 stages of grief over losing my old lifestyle and am moving (kicking and screaming) towards accepting that this IS my life now. And I won't ever get that Adriana Lima body until I make it to that glorious final phase of acceptance:

5 stages of (weight) loss

1. Denial

Once you get past the excitement of trying new things, you will find yourself pining for the good ol' days when you didn't have to work so hard to look this good. And will want to act like you can get away with a few cheat days here and there without it impacting your progress. You can't, and it will. And once you realize that, you move pretty quickly into stage two:

2. Anger

It feels weird to admit, but I really did hit this stage with a vengeance. I was pissed that I can't have my cake, and eat everyone else's cake too. It's just not fair! I (figuratively) starve myself for weeks and then I have one piece of cake and gain it ALL back. You work so hard and for what? You still can't eat whatever you want!? But I love eating! Which then sends you spiralling into stage three:

3. Bargaining

'I did good yesterday, so I can reward myself with takeout tonight' 'If I do an extra lap tomorrow, then I can have this cookie today' yeah, no sweetie, we all know you're not doing ANY laps tomorrow, so back away from the ice cream. Admittedly, I'm still squarely stuck in this stage right now. But every so often i see flashes of the impending time that I will be moving to stage four:

4. Depression

Maybe I'm mistaking this for stage one, but I get pretty bummed out that I can't just have that cupcake like I used to. I know too much now, I will regret it later. and that really sucks. I will make it though, and when that day comes, I will bound gleefully into stage five:

5. Acceptance

Someday, I will really truly accept this lifestyle and will feel like I really am a 'fitgirl', maybe even consider myself (gasp) an athlete. But until then, I just gotta "fake it 'till I make it."