5 Stages of (weight) Loss

So, it's been over a year since I've decided to get into shape and healthy and all that stuff those fitness people keep talking about. I've learned so much this year and accomplished things I never thought possible....I even lost (a little) weight!

But I'm still not nearly close to where I want to be. And even what I've accomplished so far was not without a lot of work and a lot of struggle. This might not be what you want to hear, but losing weight -even just a little bit- is really really hard.

The first step is to decide that you want to do it. That's easy. You do that every day. The next step is to actually do it, and that is a whole different story. Actually, the first month of getting in shape is super easy, everything is new, it's exciting and interesting.

It's easy to do anything for a few weeks. You start to see results, you feel good about yourself, and you spend every second obsessing about your new healthy routine.

Then eventually the realization hits - I have to do this for the rest of my life. And life is not so accommodating.  Life is unpredictable, plans change, things spiral out of control, and the next thing you know, you're curled up in sweatpants on the couch at 2am halfway through a chocolate bar with no intention to stop until the evidence is destroyed. 

There are all kinds of things you can physically do to lose weight, things you already know (if you don't know, I'll make it easy for you: hire a trainer. If I can afford it, you definitely can. And it will be the best decision you've ever made). However, exercise is just like the tip of the iceburg: it's the easiest thing to see, but it's only about 10% of the story. The REAL work is the other 90%...your diet.

The thing is, diets don't work. You won't make it more than a month, if you even make it to the end of the week. To really REALLY lose weight, you have to change your entire lifestyle.  You'll be giving up everything you've ever known -the very things that bring you comfort- and moving into a world that it scary, confusing and overwhelming.  If you're like me (and normal people everywhere), food is a constant battle between eating what I want or eating what I should. And in order to get fit, I can't eat what I want. And that's a harsh pill to swallow.

During this process, I realized that what is actually happening (and why it is SO much harder than i thought it would be) is that I am grieving.

I'm literally moving through the 5 stages of grief over losing my old lifestyle and am moving (kicking and screaming) towards accepting that this IS my life now. And I won't ever get that Adriana Lima body until I make it to that glorious final phase of acceptance:

5 stages of (weight) loss

1. Denial

Once you get past the excitement of trying new things, you will find yourself pining for the good ol' days when you didn't have to work so hard to look this good. And will want to act like you can get away with a few cheat days here and there without it impacting your progress. You can't, and it will. And once you realize that, you move pretty quickly into stage two:

2. Anger

It feels weird to admit, but I really did hit this stage with a vengeance. I was pissed that I can't have my cake, and eat everyone else's cake too. It's just not fair! I (figuratively) starve myself for weeks and then I have one piece of cake and gain it ALL back. You work so hard and for what? You still can't eat whatever you want!? But I love eating! Which then sends you spiralling into stage three:

3. Bargaining

'I did good yesterday, so I can reward myself with takeout tonight' 'If I do an extra lap tomorrow, then I can have this cookie today' yeah, no sweetie, we all know you're not doing ANY laps tomorrow, so back away from the ice cream. Admittedly, I'm still squarely stuck in this stage right now. But every so often i see flashes of the impending time that I will be moving to stage four:

4. Depression

Maybe I'm mistaking this for stage one, but I get pretty bummed out that I can't just have that cupcake like I used to. I know too much now, I will regret it later. and that really sucks. I will make it though, and when that day comes, I will bound gleefully into stage five:

5. Acceptance

Someday, I will really truly accept this lifestyle and will feel like I really am a 'fitgirl', maybe even consider myself (gasp) an athlete. But until then, I just gotta "fake it 'till I make it."